Joke #5472

Q: How do mathematicians induce good behavior in their children? A: "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."
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has 65.83 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: math

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One day, Little Johnny was with his father at home. He asked: "What does "evolution" mean?" His father replied, "Figure it out." Next day, at school, during a math test, a boy raised his hand: "What's 289+308?" The teacher said: "Figure it out." Ten minutes later, Little Johnny looked at the boy and said: "Why don't you write "evolution"? Your teacher already told you!"
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has 53.62 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, math, school, stupid
Sex is like math: Add the bed Subtract the clothes Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
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has 84.12 % from 2014 votes. More jokes about: dirty, math, sex
How does a cow do math? With a cowculator.
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has 43.52 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, math
Teacher: "Little Johnny, give me a sentence using the word, 'geometry.'" Little Johnny: "A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, 'Gee, I'm a tree.'"
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has 76.41 % from 222 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, math, teacher
A college math professor and his wife are both 60 years old. One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband. It says: "My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the Holiday Inn with my 20-year-old student. Don't bother waiting up for me." He returns home late that night to find a note from his wife: "You, my dear, are also 60 years old and there are also things I need that you're not giving me. So, I am at the Motel 6 with one of your 20-year-old students. Being a math professor, I'm sure you know that 20 goes into 60 way more than 60 goes into 20. So, don't YOU wait up for ME."
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has 57.27 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: age, college, marriage, math, wife
A mathematician and his best friend, an engineer, attend a public lecture on geometry in thirteen-dimensional space. "How did you like it?" the mathematician wants to know after the talk. "My head's spinning," the engineer confesses. "How can you develop any intuition for thirteen-dimensional space?" "Well, it's not even difficult. All I do is visualize the situation in n-dimensional space and then set n = 13."
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has 46.76 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: math
Did you hear about the mathematician with constipation ? He had to work it out with a pencil...
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has 48.30 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: math
Johnny, if you had 5$ and you asked your father for 3$ more, how many dollars would you have? I would have five dollars... You don't know your arithmetic, Johnny... You don't know my father, Mrs. Mutch...
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has 75.47 % from 505 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, math, money
Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first man, "What is three times three?" "274," was his reply. The doctor says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?" "Tuesday," replies the second man. The doctor says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?" "Nine," says the third man. "That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get that?" "Simple," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."
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has 69.28 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: doctor, math, old people
Q: How do you make seven an even number? A: Take the s out!
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has 62.56 % from 137 votes. More jokes about: math