Q: How do mathematicians induce good behavior in their children?
A: "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."
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Q:What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?
A:A high school math problem!
What did one math book say to the other math book?
"I don't know about you man, but I got a lot of problems!"
A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown.
She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep.
She goes up to the farmer and ask, "If I guess how many sheep you have can I have one?"
The farmer nodded. She continued. "159" The farmer is surprised. "How did you know?"
"Lucky guess" She grabs one and gets in her car.
The farmer comes up and says, "If I can guess your real hair color can I get my dog back?"
I got 99 problems and being upside down ain't one.
Ok wait I got 66 problems.
Count from one to ten.
That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you... Forty seven times.
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A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad.
His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl" ?
The logician replies: "yes".
Q: What's a polygon?
A: A dead parrot.
Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?
A: Nice belt!