Joke #5472

Q: How do mathematicians induce good behavior in their children? A: "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."
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has 65.83 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: math

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A chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore. The chemist and the physicist comes up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."
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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on. After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."
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Teacher: What's 2 and 2? Pupil: 4 Teacher: That's good. Pupil: Good? That's perfect!
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I used to think maths was useless, but then one day I realised that decimals had a point.
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A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment. They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician said "this is pointless" and stormed off. The engineer agreed to go ahead with the experiment anyway. The mathematician exclaimed on his way out "don't you see, you'll never actually reach her?". To which the engineer replied, "so what? Pretty soon I'll be close enough for all practical purposes!"
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Q:What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher? A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work. The philosopher can do without the trash bin.
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Yo mammas so fat they had to make a new number.
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, math, Yo mama
Did you hear about the mathematician with constipation ? He had to work it out with a pencil...
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has 48.30 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: math