What did one math book say to the other math book? "I don't know about you man, but I got a lot of problems!"
Two statisticians go bird hunting. The first one fires at the bird but overshoots by 5 feet. The second one fires and undershoots the bird by 5 feet. They both give each other a high-five and say "Got it!"
Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking." Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?" "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone." "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
What happened to the plant in math class? It grew square roots.
The square root of Pain is Chuck Norris.
Teacher: "Are you good at math?" Pupil: "Yes and no." Teacher: "What do you mean?" Pupil: "Yes, I'm no good at math!"
There was a statistician that drowned crossing a river... It was 3 feet deep on average.
Chuck Norris can cross all Seven Bridges of Konigsberg, making all the current laws of Math, obsolete.
Yo momma is so stupid when they asked her 1+1 she said "Ouch! it is a long story."
Q: Did you hear that joke about the infinite line? A: Don’t worry, It doesn’t have a point!