What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?
Beer.
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Parallel lines have so much in common.
It's a shame they'll never meet.
Three statisticians are out hunting.
Suddenly, a deer appears 50 yards away.
The first statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the left.
The second statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the right.
The third statistician starts jumping up and down, yelling "We got him! We got him!"
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Do you like maths?
If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
Q: How did the elephant destroy the database?
A: His truncate it.
2 > 1... unless that 1 is Chuck Norris.
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A man walks into a sperm Bank.
He approaches a man who has just walked out of a donating cubicle.
He decides to start a conversation with him.
He approaches the man and says "So then, do you come here often?"
The man replies "Only when the internets off" and walks off.
Old mathematicians never die - they just lose some of their functions.
Alcohol doesn't make you FAT... it makes you LEAN... against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people!
A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help.
"If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" he asked her.
The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings."