What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?
Beer.
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Parallel lines have so much in common.
It's a shame they'll never meet.
Three statisticians are out hunting.
Suddenly, a deer appears 50 yards away.
The first statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the left.
The second statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the right.
The third statistician starts jumping up and down, yelling "We got him! We got him!"
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Do you like maths?
If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
Man goes to the doctors and sayes "Doctor, I cant stop my hands from shaking !"
Doctor replies "Do you drink much ?"
Man says "no, I spill most of it !"
The Perfect Man
At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends.
"The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company.
He must be musical.
Tell jokes.
Sing.
And stay home at night!"
An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Honey, if that's all you want,get a TV!"
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"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague.
"Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero..."
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
Q: Which Bible character had no parents?
A: Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).
Q: What did one magnet say to the other?
A: I find you very attractive.
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