There is this guy and he wants to marry a girl but he is bad at choosing girls so he has a contest.
First one to get as many ping pong balls as they can is my wife.
The first girl brings back a whole bucket of them. the guy goes good, good.
The 2 girl brings back a truck load of ping pong balls. He says, "Wow that will be hard to beat."
Then the 3 girl comes back all bloody and bruised and is holding 2 big bloody things.
The guy says, "What are those, I said ping pong balls."
"Oh,"Says the 3 girl, "I thought you said King Kong's balls."
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Joe is on his last day at work as a mailman.
He receives many thank-you cards and monetary gifts along his route.
When he gets to the very last house, he is greeted by a gorgeous housewife, who invites him in for lunch.
Joe happily accepts.
After lunch, the woman invites him up to the bedroom for some "desert."
Joe happily accepts again.
When they are done, the woman gives him a dollar.
Joe asks what the dollar is all about.
The woman replies: "It was my husband's suggestion. When I told him that it was your last day at work, he told me 'F**k him, give him a dollar. The lunch was my idea."
You are so selfish!
You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
Q: Why shouldn't Men using iron supplements take Viagra?
A: It may cause them to spin around and point north.
What type of pussy does a priest get?
Nun.
4 reasons why I curse
1) Because I fucking want to.
2) Because I fucking can.
3) Because I don't give a fuck.
4) Because my mom isn't around.
Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A: "What are you shaking about, it's me she's going to eat."
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Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?
A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck!
What is the smallest hotel in the world?
A p***y - because you gotta leave your bags outside!
You see, masturbation is so unpredictable.
I just go up and down.
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