A little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents room.
Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you're bouncing up and down on him."
His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh.. well.. ah.. well, I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again."
And the boy says, "Well, that won't work!"
His mom says, "Why?"
And the boy replies, "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up."
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Two sperms.
The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?"
The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
Vote:
The horrible moment when there's a really cute girls on the bus,
but you're too shy to start masturbating in front of everyone...
What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application?
Your iphone will keep crashing!
Q: Have you tried Starbucks new hot beverage, Viagraccino?
A: One cup and you're up all night.
“Honey”, says the wife to her husband, “last night I had the most AMAZING dream..I dreamed that we were making love and next to our bed there was a black man from Africa who was waving a fan to us and that gave me great satisfaction..”
The couple decided to make the dream come true, so they found a black man and offered him 200 euros to wave the fan to them while they made love.
The three of them went home and the couple started having sex while the black man was waving the fan.
But still the wife couldn’t get any satisfaction..So she proposed that they should change roles.
She would make love with the black man and the husband would wave the fan next to them.
The husband accepted and started waving the fan…
After a while, the wife screamed of pleasure and asked for more!
So the husband said to the black man: “Do you understand now how you should wave the fan, you ashole?”
Q: What do you call a blonde at a golf course?
A: The 19th hole.
Q: What do a gay and a garbage truck have in common?
A: Both take it in the rear.
I see you ordered the most expensive item on the menu for our first date.
I hope you realize that it comes with a side order of my dick.
There once was a girl named Pinkie who desired to have a little inky,
when the notion of the motion was planted,
in her dinky little head.
With her butt in the air,
while the man in the sidecar tattooed her derriere 100 miles per hour down I 45 to bike fest.
Drunk and stupid and would not listen,
smeared beyond recognition,
she said it was Tinker Bell but we couldn't tell O well.