Joke #5523

Q. Why doesn't Santa have any children? A. Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.
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has 73.64 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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Bloke in hospital with 60% burns, Dr. says, "Give him two Viagra." Nurse asks, "Do you think that will help?" Dr replies, "No but it will keep the sheets off his legs!"
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has 79.12 % from 209 votes. More jokes about: dirty, hospital, medical, nurse, viagra
There were three nurses in a morgue... They entered a room where they had discovered that there was a dead man laying on the bed with a hard-on. The first nurse was very forward and said, "Wow! I have never seen that before, I can't let that go to waste". After saying this the first nurse sat and rode it. The 2nd nurse did the same. The third nurse explained that she couldn't as she was on her period. After a bit of convincing she eventually rode it. After 3 minutes the man woke up. The Nurses said, "What the hell... You were dead a few minutes ago" The man replied, "yeah I was... But I feel great now I have had two jump starts and a blood transfusion".
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has 78.37 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, disgusting, nurse, sex
Q: Why don't witches wear underwear? A: For a better grip on there broomstick!
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has 60.80 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Grass is green, trees are greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener.
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has 66.34 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: dirty, masturbation, poems
Chuck Norris grabs Donald Trump by the pussy.
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has 52.85 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, political
When I was younger I used to think having sex was kissing naked. One day after showering my dog came in the restroom, so I kissed him on the head, after realizing what I did I ran downstairs, and told my mom that I had sex with the dog, you can image her face after hearing this. Yep I was a very dumb child.
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has 76.24 % from 665 votes. More jokes about: dirty, dog, kids, sex
Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog? A: Gee, we really do taste like chicken!
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has 47.57 % from 163 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, lesbian
A duck, a pigeon, and a chicken all walk into a courtroom... The judge asked the duck, "What is your crime?" The duck responds, "I was blowing bubbles in front of City Hall." The judge says, "There's no crime committed here, you're free to go." The judge then asks the pigeon, "What is your crime?" The pigeon responds, "I was also blowing bubbles in front of City Hall." The judge looks a little confused but finally says, "There's no crime committed here, you're also free to go." Lastly, the chicken walks up to the judge, and the judge asks, "What is your crime?" The chicken, first looking back at the pigeon and the duck, then turning to the judge says, "I'm bubbles."
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has 79.52 % from 169 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, dirty, duck, sex
Q: Ever had sex while camping? A: It's fucking intents.
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has 64.47 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
One day, a Sodomite went to his doctor's office to get an HIV blood test. While there, his blood got drawn and he then left. Two weeks later, he was back at his doctor's office in an examination room, waiting for the result of the HIV test. Suddenly, his doctor walks into the examination room and says to the gay guy, "I'm awfully sorry to tell you that the test shows that you're definitely HIV positive." The gay guy then asks the doctor, "So, what needs to be done now, doctor?" The doctor says to the gay dude, "I want you to go home, sit down at your kitchen table and eat 20 hamburgers, 20 hot dogs, 20 pizzas, 20 bags of chips, and 20 gallons of ice cream." The gay then asks his doctor, "How's doing all that gonna help me out with my HIV, doctor?" The doctor then replied, "It's not gonna help you out with your HIV at all but it will definitely teach you what your asshole is really for."
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has 47.74 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, gay, health, sex