Joke #5523

Q. Why doesn't Santa have any children? A. Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.
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has 74.08 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
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Three generations of hookers were sitting around the kitchen table one morning. The youngest moans "the economy is so bad, I can only get $20 for a blowjob. The middle aged hooker says "shit, you think that's bad? In my day $5 was a good trick" The oldest says "shit, back in the depression we was just happy to have something warm in our bellies"
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Two doctors are having s*x, he says to her, "You must be a surgeon, you washed your hands before and after." She replies, "Well you must be an anesthetist, because I didn't feel a f*cking thing!"
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has 79.98 % from 173 votes. More jokes about: dirty
We must admit that we want to be like some animals. We all want to be strong like a bear, we want to have a sharp sight like a falcon, the intelligence like an owl, the endurance like a horse, we want to sing like a skylark, we want to be running like a fox and of course we all want to have the salivas like a dragon lizard.
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has 60.66 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, horse, life
Lesbians can also take Viagra. They don't have to swallow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.
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Q: What is a difference between Ooooh and Aaaah? A: Only 3 inches.
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How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar? Both their balls are decoration only.
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has 59.51 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, music
There was a little boy sitting on a curb in one hand he had a cat and the other a box of smarties. Every so often he would pop a smartie bite the cat get up and move down to the curb. There is a man watching this young boy and wonders what he's doing once again the kid pops a smartie bites the cat gets up and moves down on the curb. So the man comes outside and yells to the boy but the boy ignores him and continues popping a smartie biting the cat and moving down the curb. Finally the man screams hey kid "what are you doing?" The boy looks back and says "who? me?" The man says "yes." The little boy responds "Well sir I'm playing trucker." The man confused says "What do you mean playing trucker." The little boy then says "Yes, playing trucker I'm popping pills, eating pussy and moving down the road."
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: cat, communication, dirty, game, kids
Mom was very upset when she found a bondage S&M magazine in her son's room. She showed it to her husband when he got home. He handed it back to her without a word. She asked him, "Well, what do we do about this?" "Well, whatever you do, don't spank him."
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has 77.83 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, family, sex
On the other day in a cemetery, I saw a woman who was rubbing her ass to a grave. When I asked the reason, she answered: "It was my husband when he was alive; always he told me: 'Your ass is so sweet whenever any dead man touches it he'll be alive!'"
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has 74.83 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, sex