Hey guys.
Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button.
Thank me later.
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Q: What's the speed limit of sex?
A: 68. Because at 69 you have to turn around!
A guy walks in the local whorehouse, says "I want the cheapest one you got, I don't have much money."
The guy behind the counter says "How bout the $1.95 cent special?"
The customer says "ok", and he paid, headed to the room.
When he opened the door, he found this beautiful broad spread out, just waiting for him.
He rips off his clothes and starts going to town on her.
Suddenly, all this white stuff starts coming out of her mouth, nose, ears.
He freaked, "omg she's sick."
He ran to the desk and told the guy what was happe ning, and the guy says "hey Joe! The dead one's full again!"
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Joke has 53.76 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: black humor, customer service, dirty, disgusting, money
Billy woke up in the middle of the night, thirsty.
Instead of going to the kitchen though, he goes to his parents’ bedroom, while they were about to have sex and his father had a condom in his hand.
The father, surprised by his son entrance, bent over pretending to look for something.
"What are you looking for?" Billy asked.
"Aw, well..hmm.. I’m looking for a little mouse!" the father lied.
So, Billy spontaneously: "Why..? To “jump” it..?"
A son is discussing funeral arrangements with his dying mother.
‘Would you like to be buried or cremated?’ asks the son.
The mother replies, ‘I don’t know.
Surprise me.’
What do dogs and women have in common?
They both like 12-inch bones.
What is it?
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn’t have one.
The Pope has one but doesn’t use it.
Clinton uses his all the time.
Bush is one.
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.
Liberace never used his on women.
Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.
Cher claims that she took on 3.
We never saw Lucy use Desi’s.
What is it?
The answer is: "A Last Name..."
You didn’t think I’d tell you a dirty joke, did you?
Sandy and John were an extremely liberal, though not especially bright, white couple.
Wanting to begin a family, they decided they wanted to have a black baby, and set to work.
Nine months later, the fruits of their labor was born: a lovely white girl.
Pleased but disappointed, John decided to ask a black man at work why they hadn't parented a black baby.
Realizing that John was somewhat sluggish, the fellow took him aside and asked, "Is your d*ck at least a foot long?"
John had to admit that it was not.
"And is it at least four inches wide?"
Once more John replied in the negative.
"Well, man, there's your problem!" the guy slapped him on the back.
"You let in too much light!"
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is.
All his professionallism goes right out the window...
He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.
"Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor?
"Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies.
He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off.
The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, "Do you know what I am doing now?", she replies, "Yes, checking for cancer."
Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table, gets on top of her and starts having s*x with her.
He says to her, "Do you know what I am doing now?"
She replies, "Yes, getting herpies - thats why I am here!"