Hey guys. Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button. Thank me later.
I like your style I like your class but most of all i like your ass.
Yo mama so fat when she uses a space shuttle as a vibrator.
That moment when you notice that one fork isn't really very clean when you're laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"
Q: What's the difference between 3 d*cks and a joke? A: Your mom can't take a joke.
A little while later Johnny's dad hears a commotion coming from Johnny's bedroom, he rushes in and is horrified to see Johnny shagging his gran! Johnny just looks at him and says "not so funny when its your mum is it ?"
How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar? Both their balls are decoration only.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
A woman walks into a saloon and stands on a chair. "Fellas! My p***y is so big that I'll give $100 to anyone who has something that I can't take." A big cowboy gets up and takes off his size 16 cowboy boots and shoves them into her p***y. The boots are sucked right in. He grabs a flashlight and, that too, is sucked in. He puts his face in between her legs to get a better look and he gets sucked in. Inside he hears noises. "Is someone else in here?" he asks. "Yeah, I've been in here for a week," the voice says. "Help me find my flashlight and we can get out of here," the cowboy says. "Hell," says the other man, "help me find my keys and we can drive out."
A mother without any pant was playing with her son. The boy pointing to her mother's pussy asked: "Mammy, what is that dark wooly between your feet? Mother: "My sweet that is a brush." Son: "Where is it's bundle?" Mother: "In your daddy's pant."