This couple had been dating for about six months, but the guy had been afraid to make any s*xual advances because of his tiny organ.
Finally one night, he gets up his courage, and takes her to a secluded spot in his car.
While they are kissing, he opens his zipper and guides her hand onto his p*nis.
"No thanks," the girl says. "You know I don't smoke."
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Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an alter boy.
Q: What do tofu and a dildo have in common?
A: They are both meat substitutes.
Vote:
A biker walks into a gay bar and sits down to have a drink when a guy walks up to him and asks "hey biker you ever played barroom football"?
"What are you talking about" the biker replies.
"You know you guzzle a beer down that's the touchdown then pull your pants down and bend over and if you can fart the kicks well."
The gay guy goes first to demonstrate.
The biker states "I can do that and even better."
He chugs the beer, slams the bottle, stands up pulls his pants down bends over to fart the gay guy jumps behind him and shouts "blocked that kick".
How does a gay man fake an orgasm?
He spits on his partners back.
Q: How did Dairy Queen get pregnant?
A: Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.
"Mr. Ben, I am asking for your daughter's hand."
"Why? I don't get it, don't you have a hand?"
"I do sir, but I'm sick and tired with my own hand sir!"
Vote:
Boy - "dear Santa, for xmas, I would like a baby brother."
Santa - "Send me your mother."
What do you call a blonde with pig tails?
A blowjob with handlebars.
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians?
One hundred people who don't do dick.
A priest took a beautiful girl in his bedroom.
He put a Bible on the bed and asked the girl to lie on the bed.
When the priest tried to have sex with her, the girl shouted:
"Father, what are you doing?"
The priest replied "Calm down my child.
Holy Bible under you, Holy Father above you and Holy water passing through."