A blonde goes to an international message center to call her mother.
When the man tells her it will be $300, she exclaims, "I don't have that kind of money, but I'll do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother."
He tells the blonde to follow him and takes her into a back room.
He unzips his pants and takes out his penis.
The blonde gets on her knees, brings it toward her mouth and says, "Hello? Mom?"
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A blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop.
The repairman, noticing that the woman was a blonde, decided to have a wee bit of fun.
So he told her that all she had to was take it home and blow in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out.
After 15 minutes of this, the blonde's blonde friend came over and asked what she was doing.
"I'm trying to pop out this dent, but it's not really working."
"Duh. You have to roll up the windows first!"
How do you get a blonde to drown?
Put a scratch and sniff on the showerhead.
Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers liscence?
A: She wasn't used to the front seat!
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead team were sent out to install telephone poles for the Telephone Company.
After the first day, the brunette team had installed 30 poles, the redhead team had installed 37 poles, and the blonde team had installed 7. The contractor was outraged with the blonde team and demanded to know why they had done so few.
"Hey, we saw what the other teams were doing. Their's were still sticking out of the ground."
A blonde says to her doctor, "Each time I try to sip my coffee, my eye hurts."
The doctor says, "Maybe you should take the stirrer out of the cup."
Q. Why can't a blonde get a drivers license?
A. Because every time the instructor says "Let's park" she jumps in the back seat.
A blonde and a both jump off a cliff at the same time.
Which one will hit the bottom first?
The brunette, because the blonde has to ask for directions.
A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and asks, "Is this some kind of joke?"