Naughty boy draws a p*nis on a black board.
Lady teacher rubs it off.
Next day he draws a bigger one and writes:
"REMEMBER THE MORE YOU RUB THE BIGGER IT GETS!
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Me: Can I call an officer a pussy?
Cop: No.
Me: Can I call a pussy 'officer?'
Cop: I guess you could...
Me: Goodnight, officer
A little boy went up to his father and asked:
"Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?"
The father replied.
"Well son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine"
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy back wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?"
She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit.
A handsome young lad went into the hospital for some minor surgery, and the day after the procedure a friend stopped by to see how the guy was doing.
His friend was amazed at the number of nurses who entered the room in short intervals with refreshments, offers to fluff his pillows, make the bed, give back rubs, etc.
"Why all the attention?" the friend asked, "You look fine to me."
"I know!" grinned the patient.
"But the nurses kind of formed a little fan club when they all heard that my circumcision required twenty-seven stitches."
Want to make a porno?
We don't have to tape it.
Girl: Babe I just gotta a tattoo of a sea shell on my thigh can you hear the ocean?
*Pulls his head to her thigh*
Guy: Nope, But I sure can smell the fish.
A farmer goes out and buys a new, young rooster.
As soon as he brings him home, the young rooster rushes and screws all 150 of the farmers hens.
The farmer is impressed.
At lunchtime, the young rooster again screws all 150 hens.
The farmer is not just impressed anymore,he is worried.
Next morning,not only is the rooster screwing the hens but he is screwing the turkeys,ducks even the cow.
Later farmer looks out into the barnyard and finds the rooster stretched out, limp as a rag, his eyes closed, dead and vultures circling overhead.
The farmer runs out, looks down at the young roosters limp body and says: "You deserved it, you horny bastard!"
And the young rooster opens one eye, points up at the vultures with his wing, and says, Shhhh!,they are about to land."
Johny is the first day in jail in the cell with one mighty and a crazy prisoner and this crazy prisoner tells Johny: "You probably do not know that on the first day must every new prisoner must pass over the so-called welcome´s ceremonial. Ok, so I ask you directly. Do you want it with cream or without the cream?"
Johny says: "I want it with creme, of course."
The crazy prisoner yells and says: "Cremo, come here, please."
One day, an old guy gets on a bus. Several minutes later a punk kid with red, green, and orange hair gets on.
The kid notices that the old man keeps staring at him.
"What you staring at, old man?
Ain't you ever done anything wild in your time?"
"Yeah. I screwed a parrot once.
I was wondering if you were my son?"
A nun gets on a bus thats empty except for the driver.
She says "I'm going to die soon but I want to have sex before I die. Problem is I must remain a virgin so it has to be to ass. I can't commit adultery, so the man must be single.Can you fulfill my wish?"
"Yes" says the bus driver and fulfills her wish.
Feeling guilty he says "I'm sorry I lied, I'm married with 3 kids."
"Thats ok" replied the nun "I lied too."
"My name is Kevin and Im going to a fancy dress party."