Q: What does Barbie use as a tampon?
A: A Tic-Tac.
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Q: What do you call a blonde doing a handstand?
A: A brunette with bad breath.
A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn comes in to take a piss.
Well, the man cant help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised, "bubba, whats your secret?"
Bubba says"well, every night before i go to get in bed with a woman i whack my dick on the bedpost three times." So the man decides to try it that very night.
So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says"bubba, is that you?"
“Doc, I think my son has VD,” a patient told his urologist on the phone, “The only woman he’s screwed is our maid.”
“Okay, don’t be hard on him. He’s just a kid,” the medic soothed, “Get him in here right away and I’ll take care of him.”
“But I’ve been screwing the maid too, and I’ve got the same symptoms he has.”
“Then you come in with him and I’ll fix you both up,” replied the doctor.
“Well,” the man admitted, “I think my wife has it too.”
“Oh crap!” the physician roared, “That means we’ve all got it!”
Q: Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants?
A: He heard the snow blower coming.
Teacher draws a pen*s on the blackboard .
Does any one know what that is?
"Yes," says Tommy.
"My dad has two, a small one for weeing and a big one for cleaning the babysitters teeth."
Having sex is like playing bridge.
If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
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Q. Why doesn't Santa have any children?
A. Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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Q: Why don't witches wear underwear?
A: For a better grip on there broomstick!
Johny came crying.
Dad: "What happened?"
Johny: "Today at class when we got up from our seats for prayer, Rita, who sits in front of us, had her skirt stuck between her ass, seeing that my bench mate pulled it out."
Dad: "That's bad, but why you are crying?"
Johny: "I knew that's bad, so I pushed it back into her ass and she slapped me."
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