Joke #5536

A guy is flying in a hot air balloon and he's lost. So he lowers himself over a field and shouts to a guy on the ground:"Can you tell me where I am, and which way I'm headed?" "Sure! You're at 43 degrees, 12 minutes, 21.2 seconds north; 123 degrees, 8 minutes, 12.8 seconds west. You're at 212 meters above sea level. Right now, you're hovering, but on your way in here you were at a speed of 1.83 meters per second at 1.929 radians" "Thanks! By the way, are you a statistician?" "I am! But how did you know?" "Everything you've told me is completely accurate; you gave me more detail than I needed, and you told me in such a way that it's no use to me at all!" "Dang! By the way, are you a principal investigator?" "Geeze! How'd you know that?" "You don't know where you are, you don't know where you're going. You got where you are by blowing hot air, you start asking questions after you get into trouble, and you're in exactly the same spot you were a few minutes ago, but now, somehow, it's my fault!"
Vote:
has 65.93 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: math

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test. The engineer went in first and was asked, "What is 2+2?" The engineer thought awhile and finally answered, "4." Then the mathemetician was called in and was asked the same question. With little thought he replied, "4.0" Then the lawyer was called in, and was asked the same question. The lawyer answered even quicker than the mathematician, "What do you want it to be?"
Vote:
has 76.67 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, math
Little Johnny in Math Class. One day little Johnny was sitting in math class. The teacher asked him, "there are 3 crows on a fence the farmer shoots one how many are left?" Little Johnny replied "none." Confused the teacher asked again. "Johnny, there are 3 crows on the fence the farmer shoots 1 how many are left?" Johnny replies "0." Teacher says, "ok Little Johnny how are you getting this." Little Johnny replies, "if 1 crow dies then the other two fly away, 0 crows left." Teacher says "that's not the correct answer but I like the way your thinking." Little Johnny replies, "ok teach, there 3 girls in an ice-cream parlor. One is sucking the cone, one is licking the cone, and the other is biting the cone, which one is married?" The teacher replies, "I guess the one sucking the cone." Little Johnny says, "no bitch it's the one with the ring on her finger but, I like the way your thinking."
Vote:
has 71.34 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, math, school, vulgar
Yo mammas so fat they had to make a new number.
Vote:
has 43.40 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, math, Yo mama
The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers. "Yes," he says. "My daddy taught me." "Can you tell me what comes after three?" "Four," answers little Johnny. "What comes after six?" "Seven," answers little Johnny. "Very good," says the teacher. "Your father did a very fine job. What comes after ten?" "A jack," answers little Johnny.
Vote:
has 80.60 % from 691 votes. More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, math, teacher
One day, Little Johnny was with his father at home. He asked: "What does "evolution" mean?" His father replied, "Figure it out." Next day, at school, during a math test, a boy raised his hand: "What's 289+308?" The teacher said: "Figure it out." Ten minutes later, Little Johnny looked at the boy and said: "Why don't you write "evolution"? Your teacher already told you!"
Vote:
has 37.65 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, math, school, stupid
Old mathematicians never die - they just lose some of their functions.
Vote:
has 53.62 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: math
Q: How do you make seven an even number? A: Take the s out!
Vote:
has 60.50 % from 190 votes. More jokes about: math
Q:Why is the number eight afraid of the number seven? A:Because seven ate nine.
Vote:
has 52.14 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: math
2 > 1... unless that 1 is Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 44.84 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math
"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague. "Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero..."
Vote:
has 68.41 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: math