Three statisticians go out hunting together.
After a while they spot a solitary rabbit.
The first statistician takes aim and overshoots.
The second aims and undershoots.
The third shouts out "We got him!"
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Q: What did the constipated mathematician do?
A: He worked it out with a pencil!
I used to think maths was useless, but then one day I realised that decimals had a point.
Q: Did you hear that joke about the infinite line?
A: Don’t worry, It doesn’t have a point!
2 > 1... unless that 1 is Chuck Norris.
Vote:
One attractive young businesswoman to another over lunch:
"My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying."
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on.
After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."
Q: Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
A: Because they don't believe in higher powers.
Infinity mathematicians came to bar.
First one ordered 1 glass of beer, second a half, third a quarter...
The barman interrupted them: "Assholes, here are 2 beers!"
How does a cow do math?
With a cowculator.