A team of engineers were required to measure the height of a flag pole.
They only had a measuring tape, and were getting quite frustrated trying to keep the tape along the pole.
It kept falling down, etc.
A mathematician comes along, finds out their problem, and proceeds to remove the pole from the ground and measure it easily.
When he leaves, one engineer says to the other: "Just like a mathematician! We need to know the height, and he gives us the length!"
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Chuck Norris does infinit loops in 4 seconds.
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
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Did you hear about the mathematician with constipation ?
He had to work it out with a pencil...
2 > 1... unless that 1 is Chuck Norris.
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Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test.
The doctor says to the first man, "What is three times three?"
"274," was his reply.
The doctor says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?"
"Tuesday," replies the second man.
The doctor says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?"
"Nine," says the third man.
"That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get that?"
"Simple," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."
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A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad.
His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl" ?
The logician replies: "yes".
My math teacher called me average...
How mean!
Life is like a definite integral.
Integral from birthday to death ( LOVE ) dx = LIFE
Yo mama is so fat that she took geometry at the school because she heard there will be some pi.