A team of engineers were required to measure the height of a flag pole.
They only had a measuring tape, and were getting quite frustrated trying to keep the tape along the pole.
It kept falling down, etc.
A mathematician comes along, finds out their problem, and proceeds to remove the pole from the ground and measure it easily.
When he leaves, one engineer says to the other: "Just like a mathematician! We need to know the height, and he gives us the length!"
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Q: How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house?
A: You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later He is still trying to back out of your driveway.
A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: Because she couldn't find the 11
Two statisticians go bird hunting.
The first one fires at the bird but overshoots by 5 feet.
The second one fires and undershoots the bird by 5 feet.
They both give each other a high-five and say "Got it!"
If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my math class: it would seem so much longer.
Q:Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
A:Because you can't drink and derive...
Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?
A: Nice belt!
Q: What did one math book say to the other?
A: Don't bother me I've got my own problems!