A team of engineers were required to measure the height of a flag pole.
They only had a measuring tape, and were getting quite frustrated trying to keep the tape along the pole.
It kept falling down, etc.
A mathematician comes along, finds out their problem, and proceeds to remove the pole from the ground and measure it easily.
When he leaves, one engineer says to the other: "Just like a mathematician! We need to know the height, and he gives us the length!"
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Q. What mode do you use in maths?
A. Multi-plyers.
Q: What's a polygon?
A: A dead parrot.
Q: You know that awesome feeling, when you finally understand math?
A: Me neither.
What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?
Depreciation.
Dear Maths,
Please grow up now and solve you problems yourself.
Equation
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Men = Donkeys + earn money
Therefore,
Men - earn money = Donkeys
In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys
"If you had a dollar," quizzed the teacher, "and you asked your father for another dollar and fifty cents, how much money would you have?"
"One dollar." answered little Johnny.
"You don't know your basic math." said the teacher shaking her head, disappointed.
Little Johnny shook his head too, "You don't know my daddy."
One attractive young businesswoman to another over lunch:
"My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying."
Q: Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
A: Because they don't believe in higher powers.
First Caribou: What kind of math do owls like?
Second Caribou: Owlgebra.