Joke #5538

Q:Why do ducks have webbed feet? A:To stamp out fires. Q:Why do elephants have flat feet? A:To stamp out burning ducks

What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep? A stripey sweater.

Who do you think would win in a fight? Godzilla or King Kong Neither, Chuck Norris doesn't let his pets fight!

A young man named Joe bought a horse from a farmer for £250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse within the next few days. A couple of days later, the farmer drove up to Joe's house and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died." Joe replied, "Well, then just give me my money back." The farmer said, "Can't do that. I've spent it already." Joe said, "Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse." The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with it?" Joe said, "I'm going to raffle him off." The farmer said, "You can't flog a dead horse!" Joe said, "Sure I can, Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead." A month Later, the farmer met up with Joe and asked, "What happened with that dead horse?" Joe said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at £5 a piece and made a profit of £2495." The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?" Joe said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his £5 back."

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor. He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss. "Sir, please calm down," the manager replied. "It's dead. It can't bother you now." "The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said. "It's his pallbearers."

Did you hear about Mike Tyson's horse? It got angry and bit at the champ!

Q:Where do you find giant snails? A:On the ends of their fingers.

Why don't cows ever have any money? Because the farmers milk them dry.

Why do cows like being told joke? Because they like being amoosed.

Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.