Q:Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A:To stamp out fires.
Q:Why do elephants have flat feet?
A:To stamp out burning ducks
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Question: What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull?
Answer: Lipstick.
Why was the horse all charged up?
It ate some haywire!
Three tortoises, Tinku, Teku and Toku, went into a restaurant. Each of them ordered a large ice cream sundae. They were waiting for their order when they noticed that it was pouring with rain outside.
"We are going to need our umbrellas," said Toku. Tinku agreed. They both decided that Teku should run home to get the umbrellas, but he didn't want to go in case they ate his ice-cream while he was away. But Toku and Tinku promised that they would do nothing of the kind, so Teku set off.
One week went by and Teku did not return. Two weeks went by and still he did not appear. Halfway through the third week, Tinku turned to Toku and said, "Come on, let's eat his ice cream."
"Okay, let's," said Toku.
Just then Teku's voice piped up from under the next table, "If you do, I won't go for that umbrella!"
What should a rabbit use to keep his fur neat?
A harebrush.
One day there was a tortoise walking on the road.
Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race.
The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race.
The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge.
It ended up that the tortoise and the hare never finished the race because they both took a nap right before the finish line.
So the tortoise is still the champion of the race.
So remember this you snooze you loose!
Q: Why do gorillas have big noses?
A: Because they have big fingers!
Which rabbit was a famous female aviator?
Amelia Harehart.
On what should you mount a statue of your cat?
A caterpillar!
Q:Why do dogs stick their noses in women's crotches?
A:Because they can.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear.
He sleeps with a real bear.
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