How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles.
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There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was.
One day she argued with a lion.
The next day was the first of June.
Why?
Because that was the end of May!
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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Chuck norris once killed a bear with an imaginary knife.
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Q: 0 is false and 1 is true, right?
A: 1.
"May I buy half a rabbit?"
"No, we don't split hares."
Life is like a definite integral.
Integral from birthday to death ( LOVE ) dx = LIFE
Two skunks were being chased by a bear.
As the bear got closer, one of the skunks said "Whatever shall we do?"
"Let us spray!" replied the other.
Why was the man sued by his horse?
For palomino-money!
Chuck Norris is the reason why Einstein's theory of relativity is still a theory.
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