How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles.
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What fur do we get from a tiger?
As fur as possible!
A photon is checking into a hotel and the bellhop asks him "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
The FAA has a device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. They point this thing at the windshield of the aircraft and shoot a dead chicken at about the speed the air-craft normally flies at it. If the windshield doesn't break, it's likely to survive a real collision with a bird during flight.
The British had recently built a new locomotive that could pull a train faster than any before it. They were not sure that its windshield was strong enough so they borrowed the testing device from the FAA, reset it to approximate the maximum speed of the locomotive, loaded in the dead chicken, and fired. The bird went through the windshield, broke the engineer's chair, and made a major dent in the back wall of the engine cab.
They were quite surprised with this result, so they asked the FAA to check the test to see if everything was done correctly. The FAA checked everything and suggested that they might want to repeat the test using a thawed chicken.
How do you make a small fortune out of horses?
Start off with a large fortune!
Q: What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A: A snake in the brass.
Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na
Chuck Norris is the reason why Einstein's theory of relativity is still a theory.
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A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left.
The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right.
The statistician yells "We got 'em!"
Which rabbits were famous bank robbers?
Bunny and Clyde.