How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles.
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A photon is checking into a hotel and the bellhop asks him "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast.
They taste like chicken.
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What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home?
"Where on Earth have you been?!"
Q: Why can't lawyers do NMR?
A: Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
Why can’t elephants go on the beach?
Because they can’t keep there trunks up.
Q: What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer?
A: "First, YULE LOGon"!
Q: What do you call a programmer from Finland?
A: Nerdic.
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