How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles.
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What do you call an unusual rabbit?
A rare hare.
A man bought a dachshund for his six children so they’d have a dog they could all pet at once.
Q: What will my computer printer warranty cover?
A: Your mouse pad.
Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" - and he died.
Well, a man was driving down a country road, and he decided to get out and get some fresh air.
He got out, and started walking in a meadow.
As he walked, he came upon a hole.
Wanting to see how deep it was, he threw a pebble down.
No sound.
So he threw a medium-sized rock down. No sound.
The man started to get frustrated, so he threw a boulder down.
No sound.
As he searched about, he spotted a railroad beam.
He hauled it over to the hole, and shoved it in.
No sound.
He sat down on the ground, exhausted.
Suddenly, he saw a goat running at him, full speed.
He leaped up, and it brushed past him, and fell in the hole.
He listened, but there was no sound.
He sat down again. A few minutes later, a farmer came walking up.
The man asked him, "How deep is this hole?"
The farmer said, "Oh. Thats the bottomless pit. It never ends.
Say, have you seen my prize goat?"
The man, not wanting to get the blame, said, "No." The farmer said, "Oh well.
He can't get far. He was tied to a railroad beam."
You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
Vote:
There's a guy Who's hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree.
The bear started to climb the tree, so the guy climbed up higher.
Then, the bear climbed down and went away.
So the guy starts to climb down the tree.
Suddenly, the bear returns, and this time he's brought an even bigger bear with him.
The two bears climb up the tree, the bigger bear going higher than the first.
But the guy climbed even higher still, so the bears couldn't reach him.
Eventually, the bears went away.
Naturally quite relieved, the guy starts down the tree again.
Suddenly, the two bears return.
But this time the guy knew he was in big trouble.
Each bear was carrying a BEAVER.
Hide a seek champion...
;
Since 1958
A mouse and an elephant are walking through the forest.
The elephant falls in a hole so the mouse gets his Porsche throws a rope down into the hole and pulls the elephant out.
So they continue walking and the mouse falls into a hole.
The elephant throws his dick into the hole and the mouse climbs out.
Moral of the story: if you have a big enough dick you don't need a Porsche.