How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles.
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Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe
Which is the most dangerous animal in the Northern Hemisphere?
Yak the Ripper.
Q: What do you call a programmer from Finland?
A: Nerdic.
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An elderly couple was just settled down for bed when the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard.
Then they heard voices.
Three men had broken into the greenhouse.
Scared, they called the police.
The dispatcher replied, he would send an officer as soon as one became available as they were all out on calls.
The old man waited for a few minutes and called Dispatch again.
He told Dispatch, "Don't worry about sending an officer, I shot the robbers and now the dogs are eating their bodies!"
In no time at all, police were all over the place and captured the robbers red-handed!
One of the cops asked the old man, "I thought you said you shot the robber and your dogs were eating them.
" The old man replied, "I thought you said, there weren't any officers available."
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
How does a leopard change its spots?
When it gets tired of one spot it just moves to another.
Why was the skunk angry?
He was incensed.
It was a hot summer night.
Slowly I spread her legs and my hand was trying to find its way to her nipple...
I was so excited! I never milked a cow before...
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
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Curiosity didn't kill the cat.
Chuck Norris did.
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