I love math - it makes people cry.
Zenophobia: the irrational fear of convergent sequences.
Q: How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house? A: You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later He is still trying to back out of your driveway.
A man started to town with a fox, a goose, and a sack of corn. He came to a stream which he had to cross in a tiny boat. He could only take one across at a time. He could not leave the fox alone with the goose or the goose alone with the corn. How did he get them all safely over the stream? He took the goose over first and came back. Then he took the fox across and brought the goose back. Next he took the corn over. He came back alone and took the goose.
A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.
A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help. "If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" he asked her. The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings."
I'll admit that the Chinese kids in math class are pretty smart. But doing it with their eyes closed... that's a bit cocky.
Q: Why can't atheists solve exponential equations? A: Because they don't believe in higher powers.
If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my math class: it would seem so much longer.
Q. What mode do you use in maths? A. Multi-plyers.
E=mc squared. E multiplied by mc squared=Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.