Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?
A: Nice belt!
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Three statisticians are out hunting.
Suddenly, a deer appears 50 yards away.
The first statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the left.
The second statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the right.
The third statistician starts jumping up and down, yelling "We got him! We got him!"
Sex is like math:
Add the bed
Subtract the clothes
Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my math class: it would seem so much longer.
Why is it hard for a blonde to count to 70?
Because 69 is such a mouthful.
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?"
Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!"
The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests.
"Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a condom, equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.
A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment.
They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked woman on a bed.
The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman.
The mathematician said "this is pointless" and stormed off.
The engineer agreed to go ahead with the experiment anyway.
The mathematician exclaimed on his way out "don't you see, you'll never actually reach her?".
To which the engineer replied, "so what? Pretty soon I'll be close enough for all practical purposes!"
The teacher asked Willy, "If you have seven cookies and Billy asks you for three, how many cookies have been left with you?"
Willy immediately answered, "Seven!"
Chuck Norris can divide prime numbers into whole numbers.
Vote:
You've heard that Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice, right?
Well he's currently making his third attempt.
Vote:
How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred?
On the fingers!
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