Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?
A: Nice belt! 
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Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
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If you had a million dollars and gave away one quarter, and another quarter, and then another quarter, how much would you have left?
A million dollars minus 75 cents.
What did the 0 say to the 8?
Nice belt!
Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they can divide sin and cosine to get a tan!
Why is 69 afraid of 70?
Because they once had a fight and 71.
70 is a rumored cannibal but no can prove who 78
78 my ass
Yo momma is so stupid when they asked her 1+1 she said "Ouch! it is a long story."
Why was the math textbook so sad?
He had a lot of problems!
Teacher: "Who knows 5+5=?"
Little Johnny: "11"
Teacher: "Take out your hand from trousers pocket and count with your fingers."
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Math tells us three of the saddnest love stories:
1)Tangent lines who had one chance to meet and then parted forever.
2)Parallel lines who were never meant to meet.
3)Asymptotes who can get closer and closer but will never be together.
Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
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