Q: What does the zero say to the the eight? A: Nice belt!
What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass? Beer.
How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred? On the fingers!
The teacher asked Willy, "If you have seven cookies and Billy asks you for three, how many cookies have been left with you?" Willy immediately answered, "Seven!"
So Descartes goes into a bar late one night for a beer. At closing time, the bartender makes Last Call and asks him, "Get you another?" Descartes replies, "I think not." And disappears.
Q: Why did the mathbook kill himself? A: Because nobody understood him.
If you had a million dollars and gave away one quarter, and another quarter, and then another quarter, how much would you have left? A million dollars minus 75 cents.
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!"
A teacher asked a student to write 55. Student asked: How? Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5! The student wrote 5 and stopped. Teacher: What are you waiting for? Student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
I'll admit that the Chinese kids in math class are pretty smart. But doing it with their eyes closed... that's a bit cocky.
A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test. The engineer went in first and was asked, "What is 2+2?" The engineer thought awhile and finally answered, "4." Then the mathemetician was called in and was asked the same question. With little thought he replied, "4.0" Then the lawyer was called in, and was asked the same question. The lawyer answered even quicker than the mathematician, "What do you want it to be?"