Two parents take their son on a vacation to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water. The son comes running up to his mom and says: "Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!" The mom says: "The bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says: "Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!" The mom says: "The bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says: "Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!"
Sex isn’t the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.
Q: What are the three words you never wanna hear whilst having sex? A: "Honey I'm home."
This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at boobs and she said "Press One?" So I did... I don't remember much after that.
Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think men care.
Two men are having a drink together. One says, ‘I had sex with my wife before we were married. What about you?’ ‘I don’t know,’ says the other. ‘What was her maiden name?’
My favorite sexual position is called "The Osama"... its where I burst into your room and blow a load on your face.
A man goes to the doctor for his annual check-up, and the doctor tells him, "You need to stop masturbating." The man asks, "Why?" The doctor replies, "Because I'm trying to examine you"
Q: How do you make your wife scream while having sex? A: Call her and tell her.
Q: What is the difference between oral and anal sex? A: Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak.
What’s a man’s ultimate embarrassment? Walking into a wall with an erection and hurting his nose.