Joke #5887

Q: Whats the definition of vagina? A: The box a penis comes in.
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has 56.31 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: sex

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Q. How can you tell a head nurse? A. She's the one with the dirty knees!
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3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you handsome, don't take it as a compliment!
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An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?” The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.” The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.” The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”
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has 58.98 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, old people, sex, viagra
I asked my wife why did she marry me. Wife: "Because you are funny." Me: "I thought it was beacause I was good in bed?" Wife: "You see? You're hilarious."
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has 85.12 % from 196 votes. More jokes about: marriage, sex, wife
On the beach, how can you recognise a guy who uses an inflatable sex doll? He doesn’t stare at the bikinis, he stares at the beach balls.
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has 60.28 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: sex
Two parents take their son on a vacation to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water. The son comes running up to his mom and says: "Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!" The mom says: "The bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says: "Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!" The mom says: "The bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says: "Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!"
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has 81.10 % from 839 votes. More jokes about: sex
Why can’t gypsies have babies? Because their husbands have crystal balls.
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has 37.88 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: sex
My girlfriend has incredible sexual skills. I almost had a heart attack when I saw the video!
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has 71.50 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, relationship, sex, technology
A woman walks into a chemist’s and asks if they sell extra-large condoms. ‘Yes, we do,’ says the sales assistant. ‘Would you like to buy some?’ ‘No thanks,’ replies the woman. ‘But if you don’t mind, I’ll wait here for someone who does.’
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has 78.60 % from 685 votes. More jokes about: sex
The two old coots were both only a year short of retirement from the assembly line, but one Monday morning that didn't keep Joe from boasting to Manny about his sexual endurance. "Three times," gasped Manny admiringly. "How'd you do it?" "It was easy." Joe looked down modestly. "I made love to my wife, and then I rolled over and took a ten-minute nap. When I woke up again, I made love to her again and took another ten-minute nap. And then I put it to her again. Can you believe it! I woke up this morning feeling like a bull, I'll tell you." "I gotta try it," said Manny. "Lorraine won't believe it's happening." So that night he made love to his wife, took a ten-minute nap, made love to her again, took another nap, woke up and made love to her a third time, then rolled over and fell sound asleep. He woke up feeling like a million bucks, pulled on his clothes, and ran to the factory, where he found his boss waiting outside for him. "What's up, Boss?" he asked. "I've been working for you for twenty years and never been late once. You aren't going to hold these twenty minutes against me now, are you?" "What twenty minutes?" growled the boss. "Where were you on Tuesday and Wednesday?"
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has 72.81 % from 348 votes. More jokes about: love, sex, time, wife, work