Joke #5591

Q: What do u call a police officer that works in bed? A: A undercover cop.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: cop

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A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk." Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go." Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, cop, drunk
A policeman pulls a blonde in a sports car over for speeding and is trying to explain to her what and where her driver’s license might be. After she eventually gives him her driver’s license, he asks for registration. Getting another blank blonde look from her, he explains, “It’s that little piece of paper you get with your car and you keep it in the glove compartment.” “Ah,” she says as she bends over to get it. While she is looking through the glove compartment, the officer unzips his pants and pulls his cock out. Excited that she had found her registration, she turns around and looks up. A look of dismay crosses her face and she says, “Oh, no! Not another breathalizer test!”
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has 54.31 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop
Why did the policeman carry a pencil and a piece of very thin paper? He wanted to trace someone.
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: cop
Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks. "I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket." Amazed, the driver asked for what. The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: cop, work
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: cop
Blonde: Officer theres like a thousand dead people here! Cop: Okay, calm down. Where are you? Blonde: The cemetery! Cop: *facepalm*
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has 59.20 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop, death
At a poor-side of Athens, a kid were on the street and was playing. A cop who was crossing around that street, saw him and asked him: "What are you doing there kiddo?" "I’m playing..." "What are you playing?" "Oh, well... I collect sand, I pour some water in and I add then some poop and I’m making little weaklings!" "What kind of weaklings?" "Cops..." The cop, furious, slaps the kid and screams: "Get the hell away from here and run to your house! I never wanna see you wondering around here." For the next two days, the kid didn’t show up. The third day, the kid was on the same spot, playing. The cop, saw him again and approached the kid. "What are you doing there?" "I’m playing..." "What?" "Oh, well... I collect sand, then pour some water in and I’m making little weaklings." "Congratulations! enthusiastic said the cop. And what kind of weaklings you’re making there?" "Firefighters...!" "So, how come you’re not putting any poop on them as well?" "Cause, whenever I do, they come out cops...!"
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: cop, game, geography, kids
A blonde is driving a helicopter and it crashes. When the police come and ask the blond what happened she says, "I got cold so I turned off the big fan!"
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has 70.99 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop, driving, stupid
Did you hear about the policeman who found a stolen car on Acacia Street? He pushed it onto Park Street – he couldn’t spell Acacia.
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: cop
Yo' Mama is so fat, when the cops see her on a street corner, they yell, "Hey you guys, break it up!"
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: cop, fat, Yo mama