Joke #1250

My penis was in the Guiness Book of Records... until the librarian kicked me out.
Vote:
has 79.58 % from 926 votes. More jokes about: sex

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A man calls 911 emergency: " Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!" After five minutes, the same man calls back: "It is ok, I found another one."
Vote:
has 73.12 % from 198 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, phone, sex, time
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? A: Clothes.
Vote:
has 59.89 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: dirty, insulting, lawyer, mean, sex
One day, an old guy gets on a bus. Several minutes later a punk kid with red, green, and orange hair gets on. The kid notices that the old man keeps staring at him. "What you staring at, old man? Ain't you ever done anything wild in your time?" "Yeah. I screwed a parrot once. I was wondering if you were my son?"
Vote:
has 65.12 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: dirty, parrot, sex
A voice inside said to me: ”Calm down, you are not the first doctor who sleeps with his patient!” And another voice answered: ”but you are a veterinarian!”
Vote:
has 75.22 % from 282 votes. More jokes about: doctor, sex
A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. She drops her pants and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!”
Vote:
has 80.70 % from 2655 votes. More jokes about: sex
Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place.
Vote:
has 68.50 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, sex, women
Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this she can’t stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him. The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: “What’s threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?” The woman replies: “It’s Frank, the midget.”
Vote:
has 77.73 % from 456 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, women, work
Johny met his classmate from high school after ten years who was still very beautiful. As he met her, he told her only: "Hi Ann, I am pleased to see you again after so many years." Ann took a look at his pants and said: "I know that you´re pleased."
Vote:
has 46.97 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, school, sex, time
A husband and wife decide they need to spice up their sex life. The wife buys a pair of crotchless underwear, puts them on, and goes into the bedroom. She seductively asks her husband, "Hey Big Boy, do ya want some of this?" The husband takes one look at her underwear and replies, "Hell no! Look what that thing does to underwear!"
Vote:
has 70.93 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: sex
Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-Olympic s*x. Friend: Wow, must be a terrific s*x life? Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years.
Vote:
has 74.89 % from 313 votes. More jokes about: sex