Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A. Breasts don't have eyes.
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How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.
How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three.
One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.
How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".
Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy"
Girl: "Why are you leaving?"
Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
He had it bronzed.
A man and a woman are lying in bed, watching the ceiling and keep quiet.
What are they thinking?
The woman thinks, "He keeps quiet.
He doesn’t want to talk.
May be he’s get tired of me.
He doesn’t love me anymore.
He’s probably got someone else.
I see.
We’ll have to separate each other."
The man thinks, "A fly. A fly on the ceiling.
Wow!
How keep it there and don’t fall?"
Q:What’s the difference between Ross Perot and Barack Obama?
A:Ross Perot is crackpot with big ears and Barack Obama is a pothead with big ears.
What's the difference between a man and a messy room?
You can straighten up a messy room.
How to Impress a Woman:
compliment her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
listen to her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the earth for her.
How to Impress a Man:
show up naked,
bring beer.
Question: Why do men die before their wives?
Answer: Because they want to.