Joke #5121

Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A. Breasts don't have eyes.
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men

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A guy rang up to air port and said: "Do you mind me please to ask how long is from New York to Sanfransico? The lady replied "A moment..." Then the guy said "Thank you" and ceased conversation.
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has 75.94 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: communication, men, stupid, time, travel
Sid and Irv are business partners. They make a deal that whichever one dies first will contact the living one from the afterlife. So Irv dies. Sid doesn't hear from him for about a year, figures there is no afterlife. Then one day he gets a call. It's Irv. "So there is an afterlife! What's it like?" Sid asks. "Well, I sleep very late. I get up, have a big breakfast. Then I have sex, lots of sex. Then I go back sleep, but I get up for lunch, have a big lunch. Have some more sex. Take a nap. Huge dinner. More sex. Go to sleep, and wake up the next day." "Oh, my God," says Sid "So that's what heaven is like?" "Oh no," says Irv. "I'm not in heaven. I'm a bear in Yellowstone Park."
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: men
A man walks into a bar and says "Ow!" A second man walks into the same bar. You would think after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it coming.
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: men
A man, during his night prays, asks God: "Oh, Lord... Why you’ve made women so beautiful?" God replies: "So you can love them, my child." "Fine, but my Lord, why you’ve made them so stupid?" "So that they can love you back, my child...!"
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has 76.66 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: beauty, god, love, men, stupid
How are men like diplomas? You spend lots of time getting one, but once you have it, you don't know what to do with it.
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: men
My wife was dying. I was by her bedside. She said in a tired voice, "Theres something I must confess." "Shhh" I said, "theres nothing to confess. Everythings alright." "No I must die in peace. I had s*x with your brother, your best friend, his best friend and your father!" "I know," I whispered "Thats why i posion you, now close your eyes!"
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has 74.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: death, men, wife
How does a man save a woman from being attacked on the street at night? He controls himself.
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands. This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man. This confirms too, that women are always confused and don't know what they want.
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has 75.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: marriage, men, single, women
Q: How do you piss off a man? A: Stand on his back and piss.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, mean, men
Q: What would men do if they had breasts? A: They'd stay at home and play with them all day.
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: men