Joke #5121

Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A. Breasts don't have eyes.
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

The patient’s family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say. "Things don’t look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves." "Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the relatives. "For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000." Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men nodded because they thought they understood. A few actually smirked. But the patient’s daughter was unsatisfied and asked, "Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?" "A standard pricing practice," said the head of the team. "Women’s brains have to be marked down because they have actually been used."
Vote: has 71.25 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, family, men, money, women
Q: What do you call a man who has lost 98% of his brain? A: A widower.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Did you hear about the man who got a vasectomy at Sears? Now every time he gets excited, the garage door goes up.
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head monk. The head monk said, "You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words every three years." The man agreed and after the first 3 years, the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?" "Food cold!" the man replied. Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?" "Robe dirty!" the man exclaimed. Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?" "I quit!" said the man. "Well," the head monk replied, "I am not surprised. You have done nothing but complain ever since you got here!"
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, men, work
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!
Vote: has 79.27 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, men, women
There is the chief of Indians, and he is going down a field with his tribe, and they come across a pile of sh*t.So the chief asks his tribe men : "Does this look like sh*t to you?" "Yes is does", they replied. "Smell it. Does it smell like sh*t to you", asks the Chief. "Mmmmm..Yes" "Feel it. Does it feel like sh*t to you?", says the Chief. "Mmmmm..Yes" "Lick it. Does it taste like sh*t to you?", inquires the Chief. "Ammmm...Yes" "Good. Don't step on it!"
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
How is a man like a microwave oven? Just another thing that heats up instantly and goes off in twenty seconds.
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Men are like.....Department Stores. Their clothes should always be half off.
Vote: has 21.85 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
What's the quickest way to lose 190 pounds of ugly fat? Divorce him.
Vote: has 34.78 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Jose approaches the Mexican border on his bicycle. Hanging from his shoulders he has two large, bulky bags. The border patrol guard stops him and says,"Hey mister what ya got in those bags?" "Just sand," replied Jose.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men