Joke #5640

A farmer gets a phone call from his son. "I've run over a pig and its stuck under the tractor still alive." "Shoot it," says the farmer, "and then bury it." About 20mins later he gets another call..." "Done that, what should I do with his speed camera and motorbike?"
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When is the best time to bury that baby you killed? When it starts talking to you again.
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What do a bungee jump and a Hooker have in common? They're both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're dead.
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Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise? A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.
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A man took a poop in a gas station and then realized there was no toilet paper. There was a hole in the wall and a sign above it that read: "When you go to the bathroom, wipe yourself with your index finger, stick it through this hole and it will be thoroughly cleaned." The man did exactly what the sign said, but when he stuck his finger through the hole, someone at the other side slapped two bricks together against his finger and because of the pain he stuck his finger in his mouth and started to suck on it.
Vote: has 71.53 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? A: Finding half a worm."
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Five men and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck. Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal. Each man will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next man in line will marry her and so on. All the men get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different man each week. The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies... The first week after wasn't too bad. The second week was geting sort of bad. The third week was getting pretty bad. The fourth week was really bad. The fifth week was horrible! By the sixth week it was unbearable... so they buried her.
Vote: has 36.51 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What is worse than ten dead people in one trashcan? A: One dead person in ten trashcans!
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What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? Full.
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Two hunters are stalking through the forest when one says to the other that he has to take a dump. "Well, go in the bushes." "What should I use to wipe my ass?" "Use a dollar bill." A few minutes later the hunter steps out of the bushes with s**t all over his hands. "What happened?" asks his friend. "I didn't have a dollar bill, so I used four quarters."
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

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Yo mamma’s so hairy, last night I confused here with a bush and pissed on her!
Vote: has 39.32 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

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