Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads? So you can pick them up five at a time
A girl was a prostitute, but she did not want her grandma to know. One day the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel and she was among them. The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway. Suddenly the girl's grandma came by and saw her. "Why are you standing in line, dear?" she asked. Not willing to let her grandma know the truth, the girl told her that the policemen were passing out free oranges. "Why, that is awfully nice of them! I think I'll get some for myself," said the grandma. A policeman went down the line, asking for information from all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, he exclaimed, "Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?" Grandma replied, "Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take out my dentures and suck them dry!"
Q: What do you call a cow with no legs. A: Ground Beef!
A man working with an electric saw accidentally saws off all 10 fingers. He rushes to the emergency room. The doctor says, "Give me the fingers and I'll see what I can do." "But I don't have the fingers!" "Why didn't you bring the fingers?!" asks the incredulous doctor. "Doc, I couldn't pick them up."
Your fart's so loud, astronauts in space mistook your fart for a message from Houston!
How does herpes leave the hospital? On crotches.
One man says, "I can't believe they are still together after all that crap." The other man says, "Who?" The first man says, "Your butt cheeks."
Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart? A: You are the wind beneath my wings.
What's red and lies in all four corners of the room? A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
Q: Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? A1: Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. A2: Perverted is when you use the whole chicken...
There was a horny young lady named Lil, Who fucked dynamite sticks for a thrill. They found her vagina In North Carolina And bits of her tits in Brazil!