Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads?
So you can pick them up five at a time
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How is a soyburger like a dildo?
They're both substitutes for meat.
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There were three nurses in a morgue...
They entered a room where they had discovered that there was a dead man laying on the bed with a hard-on.
The first nurse was very forward and said, "Wow! I have never seen that before, I can't let that go to waste".
After saying this the first nurse sat and rode it.
The 2nd nurse did the same.
The third nurse explained that she couldn't as she was on her period.
After a bit of convincing she eventually rode it.
After 3 minutes the man woke up.
The Nurses said, "What the hell... You were dead a few minutes ago"
The man replied, "yeah I was... But I feel great now I have had two jump starts and a blood transfusion".
Q: How can you tell if you're in a gay church?
A: Only half the congregation is kneeling.
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Q: Why there are many bubbles on the pool's water?
A: Swimmers are farting.
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Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?
A: "I feel like a kid again."
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How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.
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Two old ladies are at the movies.
"Psst," says one old lady. "I think the guy next to me is beating off."
"What makes you say that?"
"He's using my hand."
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There was a horny young lady named Lil,
Who fucked dynamite sticks for a thrill.
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil!
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Three men walk into a bar.
The barman tells them, "If you can sit in my basement for a day, I'll give you free beer forever."
The first man walks out after five minutes and says, "It's impossible, you got a swarm of flies in there."
So the second man tries his luck, but can't take more than an hour.
Finally, the third man goes down.
When he returns a day later, the others ask him how he did it.
He says, "Easy! I took a dump in one corner and sat in the other corner!"
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Guy takes his wife to the Doctor...
The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimers disease or AIDS."
"What do you mean?"
The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?"
"Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages...
Tell you what..
Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't fuck her."
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