Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads?
So you can pick them up five at a time
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Blow some cigarette smoke into a shoe, what do you have?
A palestinian waiting for the bus.
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What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a tampon?
"Honey, no in-between meal snacks!"
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Another name for a vagina is a cockpit
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Q: What do parsley and pubic hair have in common?
A: You push them both aside when you eat.
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Why do women always fart only when they go to the bathroom?
They have to blow dry—and there's nothing to shake.
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A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.
The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.
The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.
A few seconds later the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"
"Sure," said the little boy.
The little boy's mother was down stairs and heard this blood curdling scream.
She ran upstairs.
Once she got there she saw blood all over the bathtub.
"What happened?!" she said.
"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
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Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
A: Gulp.
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What's red and lies in all four corners of the room?
A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
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Q: Why do men snore when they lie on their backs?
A: Because when their balls fall over their a**holes, they vapor-lock.
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What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
When you take sausage out of the fridge it doesn't fart.
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