Joke #5659

The difference between the short and long income tax forms is simple. If you use the short form, the government gets your money. If you use the long form, the tax advisor gets your money.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: money

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Uncle gives little Johnny a £5 note for his birthday. ‘Spend it carefully,’ says Uncle. ‘Remember – a fool and his money are soon parted.’ Little Johnny replies, ‘Well you certainly handed it over fast enough.’
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has 50.45 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: money
Our staff has completed the 3 years of work on time and under budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change. We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect the following new standards: Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December and... Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this Y-to-K problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible.And what does the year 2000 have to do with it? Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00? We await your direction.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: IT, management, money, time
Why did the millionaire count his money with his toes? So it wouldn't slip through his fingers!
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: money
Yo' mama so poor, she fills her ice trays with toilet water!
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: insulting, money, Yo mama
Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?" Soldier: "Sure, buddy." Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now, let's try it again!" Officer: "Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?" Soldier: "No, SIR!"
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has 85.12 % from 527 votes. More jokes about: military, money
At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage. "Look," she said. "We only met a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other." "You're wrong," the young man declared. "For the past 5 years I've been working in the bank where your father has his account."
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has 66.17 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: money, party, time, wedding
Dad, would you like to save some money? I certainly would, son. Any suggestions? Sure. Why not buy me a bike, then I won't wear my shoes out so fast.
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has 20.85 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: dad, money
What kind of money do polar bears use? Ice lolly.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
Yo mama is so stupid that she thought starbucks are money in space.
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has 62.37 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: money, stupid, Yo mama
The banker fell overboard from a friend's sailboat. The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, "Can you float alone?" "Obviously," the banker replied, "but this is a heck of a time to talk business."
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: money