Joke #4600

Three cheapskates try to figure out a way of killing themselves with one bullet – so they put their heads together.

If you owe the bank $100, that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.

Little boy says to his father: "Daddy, I heard on the news that cigarettes have become much more expensive. Does it mean that you're going to smoke less from now on?" And father replies: "No, son. I will smoke as much as a have. But, you'll be eating less!"

Yo' Mama is so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.

Johnny collected lots of money from trick or treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. "You should give that money to charity", said the shopkeeper. "No, I'll buy the chocolate. YOU give the money to charity!"

Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...

Yo momma is so poor she ran after a trash can truck with her shoping list.

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted excitedly, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!" The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said, "Just get out."

Q: What travels at 200km's a hour? A: A Mexican hearing a dollar drop to the ground.

Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.

Where to birds invest their money? In the stork market!