Three cheapskates try to figure out a way of killing themselves with one bullet – so they put their heads together.
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Customer: “My youngest son was surfing the web last night and to my shock he was at a British comedy site.”
Tech Support: “Yes, what is the problem?”
Customer: “The ‘.uk’ at the end — doesn’t that stand for United Kingdom?”
Tech Support: “Yes.”
Customer: “Just great — I knew it!
He’s in trouble now!
He was there for almost a half hour!
How much does AOL charge for long distance?”
Tech Support: “It does not work that way.
You can surf anywhere without long distance charges.”
Customer: “No, I am sure AOL charges extra.
It doesn’t make any sense that they wouldn’t.
England is a long way away, they would lose millions not to.”
After trying to explain how the web worked, the customer refused to take my word and said she was going to call AOL.
A while later she called back.
Customer: “Well, AOL said you were correct; no long distance charge for overseas web sites.
I do have another question I thought of after I hung up with AOL.”
Tech Support: “Yes?”
Customer: “Do you think they charge extra for long distance email?”
Tech Support: “Trust me — they don’t.”
Customer: “Wonderful!
My oldest son works in Sweden.
He sends us email, but I was always afraid to reply because I didn’t know how much it would cost, so I just called him on the phone.
This will save us lots of money!
Still if AOL was smart they would charge for this service.”
The difference between the short and long income tax forms is simple.
If you use the short form, the government gets your money.
If you use the long form, the tax advisor gets your money.
What’s the quickest way to double your money?
Fold it in half!
Where do bees keep their money?
In a honey box.
The holiday season: A deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
Can I borrow that book of yours How To Become A Millionaire?
Sure.
Here you are.
Thanks - but half the pages are missing.
What's the matter?
Isn't half a million enough for you?
Q: Why did hitter kill himself?
A: Because he could not pay the gas bill.
Vote:
Your so poor, I stepped in your house and stepped on a cigarette, and your mom said, "Who turned of the lights".
Budgeting: When you work out that the money you owe is exactly the same as the money you spent.