Joke #5662

A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian. "Look in the lion's mouth," the vet told him. "How do I do that?" he asked. "Carefully," replied the vet.

This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted. The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little's s painted all around and all over his car. The service man asked him why, and the snail answered "When people see me in my car I want them to say, look at that S-Car-Go!"

Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.

Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?" Kangaroo: "I can't find my children" Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?" Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."

What do you call an unusual rabbit? A rare hare.

Did you hear about the man with five keen senses? He still lacked common and horse!

Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."

What looks like half a cat? The other half.

What would you hear at a cow concert? Moo-sic!

A baby snake asked it's mom, "Mommy are we poisonous?" The mother snake responded, "Yes honey, but why do you want to know?" The baby snake responded, "Because I just bit myself..."

If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.