A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian. "Look in the lion's mouth," the vet told him. "How do I do that?" he asked. "Carefully," replied the vet.
Did you hear about the skunk who sat on a fan? He got cut off without a scent.
What did the bunny want to do when he grew up? Join the Hare Force.
What is a moo hoo for a cow fight? A cattle battle.
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales? He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record.
A woman went to the doctor's and complained of being really sore. "Do you have any idea why?" "Well, I had sex with an elephant!" "You did? But elephants are known to have small penises!" "Yeah, but he fingered me first."
A drunk guy took a cat home to his wife and said: "See... here is the a monkey of the jungle." His wife said laughing, "That's a CAT ..." He said back to his wife, "I am talking to the cat!"
Yo' Mama is so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.