Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
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Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, lawyer is always the third thing they look up?
Because the first thing a child looks up is dog.
The second is snake.
And under snake, the encyclopedia says See Lawyer.
What did the judge say when the skunk was on trial?
Odour in court.
Why did the bareback performer ride his horse?
Because it got too heavy to carry.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin.
Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Vote:
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on top of a cliff.
A magical bird flies to them and tells them that each one of them can jump off the cliff and wish to be one thing to fly away on.
They will become that thing and can escape from their arduous situation.
The redhead goes first.
She jumps and says "eagle!".
She turns into an eagle and flies away.
The brunette jumps off and says,"hawk!" she turns into a hawk and flies away.
The blonde takes a running start, trips on a rock as she nears the edge. "Oh crap!" she yells.
Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes?
A: Slow clowns.
"Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture?"
"No."
"Did he hurt the cows?"
"No, he just grazed them."
Imagine being completely naked in room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you...
This is life of a dog.
What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?
Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!