Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
A woman walks into a bar with her 5 pound Chihuahua and sits down next to this guy, whom she notices is feeling a little bit queasy. A few minutes go buy and the guy looks at her and blows his chunks. He looks down and sees the little dog struggling in a pool of vomit and says, "Whoa, I don't remember eating that!"
Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.
Why couldn't the cow leave the farm? She was pasteurized.
Question: Why does Tigger smell? Answer: You'd smell too if you played with Pooh all day!
A monkey goes into a bar and asks the barman: - Do you have any bananas? - No,I don't. ( says the barman) - Do you have any bananas? (asks the monkey) - No,I have not got any bananas! - Do you have any bananas? - If you ask me that question one more time, I'll nail your tongue to the counter! - Do you have any nails? - No,I don't. - Do you have any bananas?
What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of the cow? A tail pail.
A man runs over a cat. The cat’s address is on its collar so the man goes to apologise to the owner. He knocks on the door and a little old lady answers. The man says, ‘I’m so sorry. I’ve just run over your cat. Can I replace it?’ ‘I don’t know,’ replies the old lady. ‘How are you at catching mice?’
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
Q: What is a turkey's favorite dessert? A: Peach gobbler.