Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
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What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom!
What kind of noise annoys an oyster?
A noisy noise annoys an oyster.
(Try saying that fast!)
Two men were walking along the street when they came upon a dog licking his dick.
One man said, "I sure wish I could do that."
The other replied, "You can, but you're probably going to have to pet him first."
An aquarium is just interactive television for cats.
A man and a woman were on a nude beach when a wasp flew into the woman's vagina.
In a rush the guy pulled on his shorts, wrapped a towel around the woman, and ran to the hospital.
When they got there the doctor said, "The only way I can think to get the wasp out is to slather some honey on my penis and lure it out."
The doctor then offered his services for a mere $50.
After a long pause, the couple agreed.
The doctor happily slathered on some honey and went in.
After a couple of thrusts the husband said, "Hey, what the hell is going on?"
The doctor says, "Change of plans I'm going to drown the bastard."
What gives milk and has a horn?
A milk tank.
A blonde and her husband were driving home, when they hit a rabit.
They both got out of the car and stood over the poor creature.
The blonde and her husband just stood their, when she said "Oh I know."
So she when in the car and rumaged through her purse and came out with what looked a bottle.
She poured it on the rabit and they both got in the car.
Suddenly the rabit got up hopped a little bit and waved, hopped a little and waved, hopped to the top of the hill and waved.
Then dissapered over it.
The husband just stared at his wife and said "Honey, what did you pour on that rabit?"
His wife just said "Hair Restorer with a permanent wave."
What do you call explosive cow vomit?
A cud missle.
Look over there! Said the frightened skunk to his pal.
"There's a human with a gun, and he's getting closer and closer! What are we going to do?"
To which the second skink calmly replied, "Let us spray ."