Joke #6230

Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? A: Becuase the "P" is silent.

Q: What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A: After a year the dog is still happy to see you.

What country do cows love to visit? Moo Zealand.

What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt? Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.

Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup." Waiter: "That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much."

Q: What is red and black? A: A sunburnt zebra.

A skunk and a rabbit were running through the woods and accidentally they collided with each other. They both got amnesia from the crash. "Who am I? What am I?" said the rabbit confused. "Well, you're one such... with a short tail, long ears..." "I guess!" shouted the rabbit, "I'm a rabbit!" "And what am I?" asked the skunk. "Ah! Yes. You're one such hairy, smelly, with a strip in the middle..." "Wow!", yelled the skunk, "Probably I'm an ass!"

A little kid gets on a city bus, sits right behind the driver, and starts talking loudly, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow, I'd be a little bull." The driver gets annoyed as the kids continues to yammer on. "If my dad was an rooster and my mom a hen, I would be a little chick." The kid goes on and on with all the animals he knows, when finally, the bus driver yells, "What if your dad was a bum and your mom was a drunk?" The kid smiles and says, "I'd be a bus driver."

What do you get from a cow on the North Pole? Cold cream.

A man walked into his backyard one morning and found there was a gorilla in a tree. He called a gorilla-removal service, and soon a serviceman arrived with a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun. "Now listen carefully," he told the homeowner, "I'm going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until he falls to the ground. The trained Chihuahua will then go right for his, uh, sensitive area, and when the gorilla instinctivly crosses his hands in front to protect himself, you slap the handcuffs on" "Ok, got it." the homeowner replied. "But whats that shotgun for?" "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla," the man said, "shoot the Chihuahua."

How can you tell that elephants have been doing it in your garage? All your Hefty Bags are missing.