Joke #6230

Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Q: What is a snake's favorite subject in school? A: Hissssstory.
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has 51.27 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, history, school
Q: Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? A1: Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. A2: Perverted is when you use the whole chicken...
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has 66.09 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, disgusting
Q:Why don't giraffes like fast food? A:Because they can't catch it!
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has 33.50 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man and a woman were on a nude beach when a wasp flew into the woman's vagina. In a rush the guy pulled on his shorts, wrapped a towel around the woman, and ran to the hospital. When they got there the doctor said, "The only way I can think to get the wasp out is to slather some honey on my penis and lure it out." The doctor then offered his services for a mere $50. After a long pause, the couple agreed. The doctor happily slathered on some honey and went in. After a couple of thrusts the husband said, "Hey, what the hell is going on?" The doctor says, "Change of plans I'm going to drown the bastard."
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has 56.76 % from 205 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, doctor, marriage, sex
Why couldn't the cow leave the farm? She was pasteurized.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
What is the definition of revenge? A baby with a dog in its mouth.
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has 18.16 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, disgusting, dog
A little lizard was walking through the forest to see his pal the monkey. The monkey call out hey little buddy come up here I got some great pot. So the little lizard climbed up the tree. The little lizard and the monkey smoked a great big joint. The little lizard said hey this stuff is great but I have horrible cottonmouth. Well there is a river just down there. So the little lizard walk down the tree through the brush and started to drink the water. All of a sudden a crocodile came out of the water. Hey little buddy waz up said the croc, "I just got stoned with my pal the monkey." "Really" said the croc, "where is he I want some." He is through the brush and up the tree. So the croc walked through the brush and to the tree. The monkey said "holy shit how much did you drink little buddy."
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has 57.73 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, weed
A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals. So he went to every house in his town. To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given. He got toward the end of the street and saw a couple outside gardening. "Who's the boss around here?" he asked. "I am." said the man. "I have a black horse and a brown horse," the farmer said, "which one would you like?" The man thought for a minute and said, "The black one." "No, no, no, get the brown one." the man's wife said. "Here's your chicken." said the farmer.
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has 61.35 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: animal, horse, old people
An octopus walks into a bar and sees a band playing in the corner, composed of those bar-room heroes, the Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman. He walks up and says “I’m the best musician in the world. I can play any instrument you like”. So the English guy goes “Alright then. Play this” and hands him a guitar. The octopus plays it better than Jimi Hendrix, better than Chuck Berry, better than anyone and hands him back the guitar. The Irishman says “Okay, how about this?” and shows him to the piano. The octopus sits down and plays it like never before – Better than Jerry Lee Lewis and Elton John. The best pianist ever. Finally, a Scotsman says “Alright, let’s see ya play this then” and hands him a set of bagpipes. The octopus looks at them and fumbles with them. Couple more minutes and he’s still struggling and there’s no sound coming out. Couple more minutes and still nothing so the Scotsman says “Oh, so can you not play it then?” And the octopus says “Play it? I’m gonna f*ck her when I get her pyjamas off”
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has 81.65 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar
Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.
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has 59.23 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, insulting, Yo mama