Teacher: "Sam, what is the outside of a tree called?"
Sam: "I don't know."
Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark."
Sam: "Bow, wow, wow!"
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Why was the cannibal expelled from school?
Because he kept buttering up the teacher.
Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Class: Hooray!
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.
Nate: Why was school easier for cave people?
Kate: Why?
Nate: Because there was no history to study!
I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.
One day two girls were trying out for the school cheerleading squad.
One was a blonde and one was a brunette.
After they both had tryouts, they went home to wait until the results were posted.
The blonde goes to see if she made it that night.
Once she found out she made it she got out her cell phone and called the brunette, but she didn't answer, so the blonde just went back home. The next day the brunette called the blonde to see if she wanted to go with her to look at their scores.
The blonde says sure and meets the brunette at the school.
The brunette beats the blonde to the school, so she goes ahead and looks at the scores to find out they both made it.
When the blonde gets there, she finds her name on the list again. Then she says, "Yes! I made it again, I made it last night and I made it again today. I am on a roll!"
Teacher: If a lion is chasing you, what would you do?
Christy: I'd climb a tree.
Teacher: if the lion climbs a tree?
Christy: I will jump in the lake and swim.
Teacher: if the lion also jumps in the water and swims after you?
Christy: Teacher, are you on my side or on the lion's?
Teacher: Ramu, how do you spell "crocodile"?
Ramu: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Ramu: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
Q. To a blonde, what is long and hard?
A. Grade 4.
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.
"My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy.
"Tommy," replied the second.
"My Daddy's an accountant.
What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy.
Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer."
"Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.