Joke #5667

Teacher: "Sam, what is the outside of a tree called?" Sam: "I don't know." Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark." Sam: "Bow, wow, wow!"

Little Johnny in Math Class. One day little Johnny was sitting in math class. The teacher asked him, "there are 3 crows on a fence the farmer shoots one how many are left?" Little Johnny replied "none." Confused the teacher asked again. "Johnny, there are 3 crows on the fence the farmer shoots 1 how many are left?" Johnny replies "0." Teacher says, "ok Little Johnny how are you getting this." Little Johnny replies, "if 1 crow dies then the other two fly away, 0 crows left." Teacher says "that's not the correct answer but I like the way your thinking." Little Johnny replies, "ok teach, there 3 girls in an ice-cream parlor. One is sucking the cone, one is licking the cone, and the other is biting the cone, which one is married?" The teacher replies, "I guess the one sucking the cone." Little Johnny says, "no bitch it's the one with the ring on her finger but, I like the way your thinking."

They wanted something long and hard..... I gave them MY HOMEWORK!

The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "George, why has your school work been so poor lately?" "I’m in love," the boy replied. Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?" "With you," he said. "But George," she said gently, "don’t you see how silly that is? It’s true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don’t want a child." "Oh, don’t worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I’ll use a rubber."

"It's clear" said the teacher, "That you haven't studied your geography. What's your excuse?" "Well, my dad says the world is changing every day. So I decided to wait until it settles down!"

A somewhat advanced society has figured out how to package basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available. The pharmacist says: "Here's a pill for English literature." The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature. "What else do you have?" asks the student. "Well I have pills for art history, biology, and world history," replies the pharmacist. The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects. Then the student asks: "Do you have a pill for math?" The pharmacist says, "Wait just a moment," goes back to the storeroom, brings back a whopper of a pill, and plonks it on the counter. "I have to take that huge pill for math?" inquires the student. The pharmacist replies, "Well you know math always was a little hard to swallow."

One day, Little Johnny was with his father at home. He asked: "What does "evolution" mean?" His father replied, "Figure it out." Next day, at school, during a math test, a boy raised his hand: "What's 289+308?" The teacher said: "Figure it out." Ten minutes later, Little Johnny looked at the boy and said: "Why don't you write "evolution"? Your teacher already told you!"

Teacher: If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? Fred: None! Fred (surprised): Why not? Fred: Because you can't lay eggs!

Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, "Do you believe in the Devil?" "No," said Little Johnny. "It's the same as Santa Claus. I know it's my daddy."

Teacher: Where are the Great Plains located? Tommy: At the great airports!

Boy: “Isn’t the principal a dummy!” Girl: “Say, do you know who I am?” Boy: “No.” Girl: “I’m the principal’s daughter.” Boy: “And do you know who I am?” Girl: “No,” Boy: “Thank goodness!”