A little kid's in school, taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin.
At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again.
The teacher says, "What are you doing?"
He says, "Checking my answers."
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Chuck Norris graduated from the School of Hard Knocks with an MBA - Mega Bad Ass.
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Phil: What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher?
Cheryl: I don’t know.
Phil: He has only one pupil.
Teacher: Billy, how do you spell "Crocodile"?
Billy: ‘K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Billy: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?"
"No, of course not.
Now shut up and comb your face."
Boy: “I’ve just had the most awful time.
First I got angina pectoris, then arteriosclerosis.
Just as I was recovering, I got psoriasis.
They gave me hypodermics, and to top it all, tonsillitis was followed by appendectomy.”
Friend: “Wow! How did you pull through?”
Boy: “I don’t know.
Toughest spelling test I ever had!”
What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?
The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says ‘chew chew chew’.
The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students.
Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "George, why has your school work been so poor lately?"
"I’m in love," the boy replied.
Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?"
"With you," he said.
"But George," she said gently, "don’t you see how silly that is? It’s true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don’t want a child."
"Oh, don’t worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I’ll use a rubber."
I got in trouble for telling a joke in 5th grade.
Now I have to keep 250 feet away from all schools...
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Peter: What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?
Ted: What?
Peter: A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!”