A little kid's in school, taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin.
At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again.
The teacher says, "What are you doing?"
He says, "Checking my answers."
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Luke: Why did the M&M go to school?
Stan: I’m stumped.
Luke: Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!
Teacher: "Ramu, you talk a lot !"
Ramu: "It's a family tradition".
Teacher: "What do you mean?"
Ramu: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher: "What about your mother?"
Ramu: "She's a woman".
The teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row.
The teacher shouts to the sleeping student's neighbor, "Hey wake that student up!"
The neighbor yells back, "You put him to sleep, you wake him up!"
What does a graduate student with a science degree ask?
"Why does it work?"
What does a graduate student with an engineering degree ask?
"How does it work?"
What does a graduate student with an accounting degree ask?
"How much will it cost?"
What does a graduate student with a liberal arts degree ask?
"Do you want fries with that?"
A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Larry Johnson.
He delivered the pizza to his trailer.
After giving it to him, Larry asked: “What is the usual tip?”
“Well,” replied the youth, “this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I’ll be doing great.”
“Is that so?” snorted Larry.
“Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here’s five dollars.”
“Thanks,” replied the youth, “I’ll put this in my school fund.”
“What are you studying in school?” asked Larry.
The lad smiled and said: “Applied psychology.”
Teacher: What's 2 and 2?
Pupil: 4
Teacher: That's good.
Pupil: Good? That's perfect!
This guy was having a problem with mice in his apartment.
"Dude," he told a friend, "I've tried everything and those damn mice keep coming back."
"I had the same thing man," his friend says.
"All you have to do is stuff steel wool in their little holes."
"That's it?" the guy asked.
"I'll do it tonight if it means getting rid of the damn rodents."
About a week later the guy gets a call.
"How's it going with the mice, buddy?"
"Not so good, dude."
"What's the problem?" his friend asks.
"To be honest, I'm having a lot of trouble holding their little legs apart."
Tyrone' s 1st day in the first grade he comes home crying.
When his mother ask why he replays.
"The teacher told us to say our abc' s and all the little white boys could say them and I could only get to e why is that."
Mom says "cause u black and they white."
Next day Tyrone is crying again .
"What's wrong today Tyrone" his mother ask.
Tyrone said "teacher told us to count to 100 and all the little white boys did but I could only get to 10 why is that."
Mom says "cause u black and they white."
Next day he comes home smiling.
"What happened today Tyrone?"
Tyrone says mama "we went to the bathroom and my thing was biggest of all . Is that cause I'm black and they white."
Mama says "no Tyrone it's cause u 17 and they 6."
Vote:
Q: Would you burn your education certificate for 50 million us dollars?
Me: I will burn my certificate, I will burn the school, the nearby schools and even the ministry of education I will also burn all the textbooks.