A little kid's in school, taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin. At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again. The teacher says, "What are you doing?" He says, "Checking my answers."
Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card." Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says ‘chew chew chew’.
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative." A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
Teacher: Billy, name two pronouns. Billy: Who, me? Teacher: Very good!
Why do mexicans walk around the school like they own the place? Cause there dad built it and there mom cleans it at night.
Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire. Much to their relief she smiled and said, "Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper." Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said, "First Question was which tire was flat?"
Q: Why don't you see any pot heads in elementary school? A: Because they're all in high school
Chuck Norris went to school so he could be studied.
A mother picked her son up from school and began to ask him about his day. “How do you like your new teacher,” she asked. “I don’t. She told me to sit in the front of the class for the present. But then she didn’t end up by giving me one!”
Johnny comes back home from school and tells his father, "Dad, tomorrow you are invited to a special parent meetings at school." "How much special?" "Well, just me, you, the director and two investigators from the FBI."