Joke #3700

Little Johnny's first grade class was playing "Name That Animal." The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked, "What animal is this?" "A cat!" said Suzy. "Good job. Now, what's this animal?" "A dog!" said Ricky. "Good. Now what animal is this?" she asked, holding up a picture of a deer. The class fell silent. After a couple of minutes, the teacher said, "It's what your mom calls your dad." "I know!" called out Little Johnny. "A horny bastard!"

Little Mary came back home after school and said, "Mommy, today during the school break Johnny kissed me on my lips!" The mother asked indignantly but in surprise, "And how did this happen?" "It was not easy, but three of my classmates helped me to hold him firm."

Q: How did the pirate get through School? A: By sailing on high C's.

Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour? Pupil: Because it can't sit down!

Chad: Why do magicians do so well in school? Josh: I don’t know. Why? Chad: They’re good at trick questions.

A teacher asked a student to write 55. Student asked: How? Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5! The student wrote 5 and stopped. Teacher: What are you waiting for? Student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!

Chuck Norris went to school so he could be studied.

Teacher: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? Father: No. Why do you ask that? Teacher: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.

Stevie: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today! Mom: That’s great. What in? Stevie: A 40 in Reading and a 60 in Spelling.

"It's clear" said the teacher, "That you haven't studied your geography. What's your excuse?" "Well, my dad says the world is changing every day. So I decided to wait until it settles down!"