Everyone says the world would be better off if it was run by women.
Sure, maybe there wouldn't be violence and territorial conquests fueled by male testosterone.
But instead, we'd have a bunch of jealous countries that aren't talking to each other.
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Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
Vote:
Q: Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
A: Because they're ugly and they stink.
Kamasutra says:
If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one.
And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!
A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon.
That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst.
“Honey,” said this husband to his wife, “I invited a friend home for supper.”
“What?
Are you crazy?
The house is a mess, I haven’t been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!” “I know all that.”
“Then why did you invite a friend for supper?”
“Because the poor fool’s thinking about getting married.”
She said "Gym or me".
Sometimes I miss her.
How to Impress a Woman:
compliment her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
listen to her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the earth for her.
How to Impress a Man:
show up naked,
bring beer.
Brrr! My hands are cold.
Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
A man is sitting in a bar when a beautiful woman walks up and whispers in his ear, “I'll do anything you want for 50 bucks.”
He puts his drink down and starts going through his pockets.
He pulls out a ten, two five's, a twenty and ten ones.
He thrusts the wadded up money into the woman's hand and says, "Here...paint my house.”
