Joke #5718

Lady goes to doctor with a bee up her fanny. Doc says, "Im gonna rub honey on my d*ck and insert it, when the bee smells it, I'll pull out and he'll follow." Doctor starts and woman begins to moan. Doctor gets faster and harder. Woman yells, "What the f*ck you doing?" Doc says, "Change of plan, I'm gonna drown the bastard."
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has 65.91 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: alcohol

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A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer. "Sorry I cant serve you," states the barman. "Why not?!" asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice. "Youre under 18," replies the barman.
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: age, alcohol, bar, bartender, beer
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodkas." The barman says "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day." "Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay." The next day the same guy came into the bar and placed the same order for drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!" On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said "Darn! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?" "Yeah, my wife..."
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has 70.75 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, gay, wife
Don't type "Chuck Norris" on Monster Milktruck, your milk will turn into beer.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, beer, Chuck Norris
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, men, women
A policeman has just stopped a drunk driver and given him a breathalyser test. ‘I’m sorry, sir,’ says the policeman. ‘But this bag tells me you’ve been drinking too much.’ ‘What a coincidence!’ exclaims the driver. ‘I’ve got a bag at home that does the exactly the same thing!'
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bartender, business, wife
Warning: Consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy.
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has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, dog