I don't know whats happening in this country.
You've got school children dressing like whores and whores dressing like school children.
Its a nightmare... you just don't know whether to carry sweets or money!
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Little Johnny in Math Class.
One day little Johnny was sitting in math class.
The teacher asked him, "there are 3 crows on a fence the farmer shoots one how many are left?"
Little Johnny replied "none."
Confused the teacher asked again.
"Johnny, there are 3 crows on the fence the farmer shoots 1 how many are left?"
Johnny replies "0."
Teacher says, "ok Little Johnny how are you getting this."
Little Johnny replies, "if 1 crow dies then the other two fly away, 0 crows left."
Teacher says "that's not the correct answer but I like the way your thinking."
Little Johnny replies, "ok teach, there 3 girls in an ice-cream parlor.
One is sucking the cone, one is licking the cone, and the other is biting the cone, which one is married?"
The teacher replies, "I guess the one sucking the cone."
Little Johnny says, "no bitch it's the one with the ring on her finger but, I like the way your thinking."
There was this old woman who heard a song called “Two Lips and Seven Kisses.”
She called up information after hearing the song on the radio to get the name of the record company.
In dialing, she erroneously called up a gas station, and she asks, “Do you have “Two Lips and Seven Kisses?”
The gas station attendant who answered the phone said, “No, but I have two nuts and seven inches!”
So the woman asked, “Is this a record?”
To which the man replied, “No, its average!”
Patient: "I’m in a hospital! Why am I in here?"
Doctor: "You’ve had an accident involving a bus."
Patient: "What happened?"
Doctor: "Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?"
Patient: "Give me the bad news first."
Doctor: "Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them."
Patient: "That’s terrible! What’s the good news?"
Doctor: "There’s a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers."
Little Johnny: "Dad why your dick's hairs are black but the hairs of your head are are going to be white?"
Dad: "My dear the first one is thinking but the second is enjoying."
Vote:
Q: How big are the pastro's beds?
A: Oh c'mon, it knows every little kid.
A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide who will be the main guardian of their child.
The jury asks both the man and woman for a reason why they should be the one to keep the child.
So the jury asks the woman first.
She says, "Well I carried this child around in my stomach for nine months and I had to go through a painful birth process, this is my child and apart of me."
The jury is impressed and then turns to ask the man the same question.
The man replies, "OK, I take a coin and put it in the drink machine and a drink comes out, now tell me who does the drink belong to me or the machine"
Guy: Can I buy you a drink?
Girl: Sorry, but alcohol is bad for my legs.
Guy: Do they swell?
Girl: No. They spread.
Q: What's the speed limit of sex?
A: 68. Because at 69 you have to turn around!
A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem.
As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed.
"I'm so ashamed, and dirty Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go."
The physician was checking hers eyes and ears.
"Don't feel ashamed, Miss.
You don't look that bad."
"Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked.
The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."