One day, a hippie and a nun get on a bus.
The hippie whispers into the nun's ear and says
"You wanna have sex?" and the nun says,
"No way you sicko!", after that, the hippie gets off the bus and tells the bus driver to tell the nuns to go to the graveyard at 9:00pm that night.
At 9:00pm the nun arrives at the graveyard and the hippie is there dressed as god.
The hippie then commands the nun to have sex with him and the nun replies,
"Ok, but can you do it up the back?", the hippie agrees and they do it.
After they're done, the hippie pulls of his mask and yells,
"HA! I am the hippie from the bus" then the nun pulls of HIS mask and says "HA! I am the bus driver!"
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep?
A: When the big hand touches the small one.
Vote:
Q: What's a blonde's favorite drink
A: A cocktail.
Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a dog have in common?
A: Wet noses.
How do you f*ck a fat chick?
Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
Vote:
Two Generals were preparing for battle.
The first General calls his aide and says "Bring me my red uniform!"
The other General asks why he would wear a red uniform.
The first General explains that if he gets wounded then his soldiers won't see the blood and lose their courage.
The other General thinks about this, then calls to his aide "Bring me my brown uniform!"
At a conference on the supernatural, one of the speakers asked, “Who here has ever seen a ghost?”
Most of the hands go up.
“And how many of you have had some form of interaction with a ghost?”
About half the hands stay up.
“Okay, now how many of you have had *physical* contact with a ghost?”
Three hands stay up; there’s a slight murmur in the crowd.
“Gosh, that’s pretty good. Okay, have any of you ever, uh…, been *intimate* with a ghost?”
One hand stays up.
The speaker blinks.
“Gosh, sir, are you telling us that you’ve actually had *sexual* contact with a ghost?”
The fellow suddenly blushes and says, “Oh, I’m sorry,… I thought you said goat!”
What does a white chick and a tampon have in common?
They're both stuck up cunts !
A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday.
She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results.
On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around.
As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35,"he replied.
"I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy.
After that she went into McDonald's for lunch and asked the order taker the same question.
He replied, "Oh, you look about 29."
"I am actually 47!" she said, feeling really good.
While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question.
He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age."
There was no one around, so the woman said, "What the hell?" and let him slip his hand up her skirt.
After feeling around for a while, the old man said, "OK, You are 47."
Stunned, the woman said, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"
The old man replied, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
My wife found a porn magazine in our son's room the other day.
She showed it to me, and it was BDSM.
She asked me "What we should do?"
Me: "Probably not spank him."
She belted me with the magazine.
Now I know where he gets it from.
Vote: