There were these two guys working late in a morgue, when one guy said, “Hey man there is a woman in there with a shrimp in her vagina!”
The other asked, “What is a shrimp doing a dead woman's vagina? Let me go see.”
Both of them went in the room with the woman, and they both curiosly looked.
Finally, the second man said, “You idiot, this ain't no shrimp it's a clitoris.”
And the other man replied, “Well, it tasted like shrimp to me.”
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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
a lickalotapus.
What is it?
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn’t have one.
The Pope has one but doesn’t use it.
Clinton uses his all the time.
Bush is one.
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.
Liberace never used his on women.
Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.
Cher claims that she took on 3.
We never saw Lucy use Desi’s.
What is it?
The answer is: "A Last Name..."
You didn’t think I’d tell you a dirty joke, did you?
A woman, after giving birth to six babies, upon seeing her husband gets up off the hospital bed, walks over to him shouting "I told you not to go doggy style!"
A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells size extra large condoms.
He replies, "Yes we do.
Would you like to buy some?"
She responds, "No sir, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?"
Teacher: "Who knows 5+5=?"
Little Johnny: "11"
Teacher: "Take out your hand from trousers pocket and count with your fingers."
Vote:
What do you call an afghan virgin
Mever bin laid on
Q: What's the difference between greeting the Queen of England and greeting Bill Clinton?
A: You only have to get down on one knee to greet the queen.
Q: What's the difference between basketball and sex?
A: In basketball you dribble before you shoot!
Babe when I die I want you to cremate me, pour my ashes into a bowl of chili, and eat me just so I can tear that ass up one more time!