Monica is at the dentist.
Half of her mouth is locked due to anesthesia, the dentist is intensively working.
Monica's mobile phone starts ringing.
Ignoring it four times, the dentist finally answers the phone pissed:
What’s up?
What’s up?, - some man asks.
Dentist:
Who are you?
I’m Monica’s husband
Dentist:
Listen, man, I’m about to finish, she will spit it out and will call you back!!!
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Two lepers playing poker, one threw his hand in, the other laughed his head off.
There is this guy and he wants to marry a girl but he is bad at choosing girls so he has a contest.
First one to get as many ping pong balls as they can is my wife.
The first girl brings back a whole bucket of them. the guy goes good, good.
The 2 girl brings back a truck load of ping pong balls. He says, "Wow that will be hard to beat."
Then the 3 girl comes back all bloody and bruised and is holding 2 big bloody things.
The guy says, "What are those, I said ping pong balls."
"Oh,"Says the 3 girl, "I thought you said King Kong's balls."
My girlfriend has incredible sexual skills.
I almost had a heart attack when I saw the video!
Vote:
Man goes to a fancy dress party wearing only a glass jar on his p*nis.
Lady asks, "What are you?"
He says, "I'm a fireman."
"But you're only wearing a glass jar," says the woman.
He says, "Exactly, in an emergency, break glass."
Pull knob and I'll cum as fast as I can!"
A woman wants everything from one man.
A man wants one thing from all the women.
Q: Whats the difference between Niagara and Viagra?
A: Niagara Falls.
I see you ordered the most expensive item on the menu for our first date.
I hope you realize that it comes with a side order of my dick.
What does a Rubik's cube and a pen*s have in common?
They both get harder the longer you play with them.
Q: What do you call a blonde doing a handstand?
A: A brunette with bad breath.