Joke #14282

Nobody is born cool. Except of course, dead babies.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.

Q: Why is a woman's pussy like a warm toilet seat? A: They both feel good, but you wonder who was there before you.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends how hard you throw them.

Steve and his buddies were hanging out and planning an upcoming fishing trip. Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go this time because his wife wouldn't let him. After a lot of teasing and name calling, Steve headed home frustrated. The following week when Steve's buddies arrived at the lake to set up camp, they were shocked to see Steve. He was already sitting at the campground with a cold beer, swag rolled out, fishing rod in hand, and a camp fire glowing. "How did you talk your missus into letting you go Steve?" "I didn't have to," Steve replied. "Yesterday, when I left work, I went home and slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows because I couldn't go fishing. Then the ol' lady Snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise'. When I peeled her hands back, she was standing there in a beautiful see through negligee and she said, 'Carry me into the bedroom, tie me to the bed and you can do whatever you want,' So, Here I am!"

Q: What did one tampon say to the other? A: Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup? A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.

What has more brains than a dead baby? The wall behind it.

Q: Whats worse then a barrel of dead babies? A: There is one at the bottom that is still alive. Q: Whats worse then that? A: He has to eat his way out. Q: Whats worse then that? A: He goes back for more.

How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it’s head.