Nobody is born cool. Except of course, dead babies.
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What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
You can't fuck a table.
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What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
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How do you prepare a dead baby for Valentine's Day?
You shove a box of chocolates down his throat and a bouquet of roses up his ass.
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Joke has 22.53 % from 181 votes. More jokes about: black humor, chocolate, dead baby, morbid, Valentines day
A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die.
They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them "Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single-file line." And they do so.
St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her "Sister, have you ever touched a penis?"
The Sister Responds "Well... there was this one time... that I kinda sorta... touched one with the tip of my pinky finger..."
St. Peter says "Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted." and she did so.
St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says "Sister, have you ever touched a penis?" "Well.... There was this one time... that I held one for a moment..."
"Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted" and she does so.
Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun "Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!"
Sister Susan responds "Well if I'm going to have to gargle this stuff, I'd rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!"
What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup?
A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.
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Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet?
A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
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I could never fight a gay guy.
I don't know how to start.
"I'm gonna beat your ass...
I mean I'm gonna f*ck you up... no, I mean I'm stick my foot so far up your ass.. no, not like that, I mean Fuck you, damn it, I give up
Q: How many dead babies does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thin you slice them.
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What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall?
Art.
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How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.
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