Nobody is born cool. Except of course, dead babies.
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What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
You can't fuck a table.
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What's better than 10 dead babies in 1 bag?
1 dead baby in 10 bags.
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What has more brains than a dead baby?
The wall behind it.
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Q: How do you know if your baby is dead?
A: Your 3-year-old daughter has put on allot of weight in the last day or two.
A Yankee from Chicago and a Texan were talking.
The Yankee said, "sex is so easy where I'm from we just walk up and stick it in."
The Texan said, "where I'm from we stick it in and walk up."
How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.
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I knew I was gonna get along with my mother's boyfriend just fine.
Cause when we met, I said to him "Hi Mr. Bob, How are you doing?"
He said: "Oh you don't have to Mr. Bob me, just call me motherfucker".
Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period?
A. Finger painting.
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Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: One scoop of ice cream and Two scoops of dead baby.
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Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex:
- You can GET chocolate.
- Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft.
- You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
- You can have chocolate in in public.
- If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind.
- The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
- You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
- No need to fake your enjoyment of chocolate.
- Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
- You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
- You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
- Size doesn't matter - though more is still better.