Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck. There can only be 1 living legend.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears. Confused, his father asks what's wrong. "Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in."
While learning CPR Chuck Norris actually brought the practice dummy to life.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris can press "Pause" on reality.
Santa writes to Chuck Norris about what he wants for Christmas.
Chuck Norris is the meaning of life. Too bad he's also the meaning of death.
Chuck Norris can experience a once in a life time occurrence... twice.
Chuck Norris once cried just to see what it was like. The end result was the creation of life.
He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.