The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Four-year-old to her two-year-old sister: "Let's play Christmas. I'll be Santa Claus and you can be a present and I'll give you away."
Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
Santa writes to Chuck Norris about what he wants for Christmas.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
Santa Claus asks Chuck Norris for presents.
Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed went itself out of fear.
Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad. He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!