The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.
Four-year-old to her two-year-old sister: "Let's play Christmas. I'll be Santa Claus and you can be a present and I'll give you away."
Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
Santa writes to Chuck Norris about what he wants for Christmas.
When Chuck Norris was a kid his parents took him to a beach in Georgia. While swimming Chuck Norris pants came down and out popped Florida.
Kids dream about having superpowers. Superpowers dream about having Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
Santa Claus asks Chuck Norris for presents.
The song Santa Claus is Coming To Town was originaly called Chuck Norris is Coming To Town. They changed it so the children wouldn't live in fear.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.