The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Four-year-old to her two-year-old sister: "Let's play Christmas. I'll be Santa Claus and you can be a present and I'll give you away."
Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.
Santa writes to Chuck Norris about what he wants for Christmas.
Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed went itself out of fear.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
Santa Claus asks Chuck Norris for presents.
Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck. There can only be 1 living legend.
Santa delivers to Chuck Norris' house first.