The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real.
It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
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Four-year-old to her two-year-old sister: "Let's play Christmas. I'll be Santa Claus and you can be a present and I'll give you away."
Chuck Norris has 2 kids.
We know them as Pain and Suffering.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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Santa Claus arrives to a kindergarten and gives each child a present.
Everybody received really cool presents – racing car models, ship models and similar.
But one kid got only a pair of socks.
A kid comes to him and teases him with his received brand new Formula 1 model and laughs at this socks-kid:
LHey, what a shitty present you have received, look at my super car" said the kid offensively.
"So what, at least I don't have cancer…"
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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Chuck Norris once gave a box of his old watches to a group of kids.
These kids are now known as the power rangers.
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Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common?
A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
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Santa writes to Chuck Norris about what he wants for Christmas.
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Chuck Norris was an only child.
Eventually.
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