Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the local football team?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
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My girlfriend has incredible sexual skills.
I almost had a heart attack when I saw the video!
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More jokes about: dirty, mean, relationship, sex, technology
More jokes about: dirty, mean, relationship, sex, technology
A man says to his wife, "Get ready you, me & the dog are going fishing."
Wife says, "I dont want to go."
Man gives her 3 choices, fishing, blow job or take it up the a*se.
Wife pick blow job.
After she sucking for a while she says, "It tastes like sh*t.
Man says, "I know, dog didnt want to go fishing either."
My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207.
Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...
After working together for a while, Frank and Jane's office romance blossomed and they really developed the hots for each other.
One day,they seize the opportunity to sneak into a supply closet to consummate their lust.
Frank finds Jane very tight and difficult to enter, but finally succeeds.
When they are finished, Frank says to her, "If I had known you were a virgin, I would have taken more time!"
To which Jane replies, "If I'd known you had more time, I would have taken off my pantyhose!"
This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated.
She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them.
"You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money."
Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."
I like your style
I like your class
but most of all i like your ass.
Kamasutra says:
If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one.
And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!
What did one tit say to the other?
I hope we get support soon or people will think we're nuts.
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary.
As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to f*ck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?
Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob.