Joke #1352

What did the two tampons say to eachother? Nothing , because they were both stuck up bitches.
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has 67.47 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go."
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has 85.44 % from 2864 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, food, kids, money
Q: What do you call a one-man quickie? A: A yankee.
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has 43.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: dirty
After a long time two friends met, happy to see each other. One of them, chewing on something big, asked his friend how was he and what was new in his life. After the friend told his story, he asked the same question to the friend who was chewing something. "So, what’s up man?" "It’s a shitty period, there is nothing that works in my life and I feel really bad." "What is going on?! "Last Saturday I went to Las Vegas. You know that from time, to time I’m going there to play at casino, three or four times a year. I took with me thousand dollars and I put the other hundred in my driving license that I left in the car. For the safety reasons, you know, if it goes really bad at casino, I must have the money to pay highway and go back home. And so I walked in casino, I bought the chips and found an empty seat on a roulette table, next to a beautiful woman, about forty years old with a very provocative neckline. I made my first bet on 32, the number of my house, aiming 10 dollars." "How did it go?" The guy continues to tell his story, without stopping to chew something. "Released! I felt all the winning streak and I bet again on 32 and it’s released again. I was winning almost 13 000 dollars and the adrenaline was at maximum. I felt like I was the God and around the table came so many people to congratulated me and I bet more than 10 thousand dollars on 23." "And it went out again?" "No! This time came out a bloody 13. Do you realize that I had the bad luck? I had in my hands a lot of money and if 32 came out I was settled for a life time. But the horrid number 13 ruined my evening and the hole week after." "I understand you very well. It ‘s really to eat the balls." The other friend, continuing to chew louder: "What do you think I’m doing?"
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has 20.98 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty, life, money
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
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has 62.46 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, flirt, game, sex
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
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has 46.11 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, health, science, sex
A little boy about nine or ten, was siting on Santa's lap. Santa pointed his finger in the boys face, and said, " George I know what you want for Christmas! A T-O-Y." "Nope!" replied George. Then again, pointing his finger in the boys face, "You want C-A-N-D-Y." "Nope!" replied George. "Then just what the hell do you want," ask Santa. George looked Santa in the face, pointing his finger, "I want some P-U-S-S-Y! And don't tell me that you don't have any. Because I can smell it on your finger!"
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has 80.07 % from 292 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Once a doctor dies. He was a heart specialist. At the funeral, his family members and friends make a special coffin on which there is a heart. A man laughs. Another man asks him why he laughed. He says, "I am a gyno I wonder what they will do on my funeral."
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has 64.81 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, doctor, family, funeral
Q: Why can women play hockey? A: Because they have to change their pads after every period.
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has 41.94 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sport, time, women
My favorite sexual position is called "The Osama"... its where I burst into your room and blow a load on your face.
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has 37.13 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Why did the semen cross the road? Because I wore the wrong sock today.
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has 51.00 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, masturbation