Joke #1352

What did the two tampons say to eachother? Nothing , because they were both stuck up bitches.
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Q: Whats the difference between Niagara and Viagra? A: Niagara Falls.
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A woman arrives home from work and her husband notices she's wearing a diamond necklace. He asks his wife, "Where did you get that necklace?" She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner." The next day, the women arrives home from work wearing a diamond bracelet. Her husband asks, "Where did you get the bracelet?" She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner." The next day, her husband notices she arrives home from work wearing a mink coat. He says, "I suppose you won that in a raffle at work?" She replies, "Yeah I did! How did you guess? Go get my bath ready while I start supper." Later after supper, she goes to take her bath and she notices there is only one inch of water in the tub. She yells to her husband, "HEY! There's only an inch of water in the tub." He replies, "I didn't want you to get your raffle ticket wet."
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What do a rattlesnake and a soft penis have in common? You can't f**k with either one.
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WTF? = Where's The Food?
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I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.
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Q: "What is the difference between like and love?" A: "Spit and swallow."
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My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
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"Is it rape if it's your wife?" "I don't think so." "What a relief! I thought you'd be mad as hell!"
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Q: Who is the most skillful goal keeper in the world? A: All women; they never allow any ball enters.
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The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked. "Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac." "I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour." "That’s not bad," she replied. "How much for all night?"
Vote: has 75.18 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

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