A man answers the telephone to find a doctor from the hospital's emergency room on the other end. "Sir," explains the doctor, "Your wife was in a serious car accident. I have bad news and good news." The man, taken back, asks hesitatntly, "What's the bad news?" "The bad news is your wife has lost all use of both arms and both legs. She will likely be on a respirator for the rest of her life." "Heavens, Doc, what's the good news?" The doctor replies, "I'm kidding. She's dead."
Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? A: Because his wife died.
Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? Because she didn't have any arms.
What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.
What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ? A Pedophiles ass.
Some people just need a hug… Around the neck… with a rope.
How many dead babies does it take to change a tire? Two, one to prop up the car and one to replace it incase it explodes.
Q: Why do you put babies into a blender feet first? A: So you can see the look in their eyes when you turn it on!
What's pink and chunky? A baby with leprosy.
How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred? On the fingers!
How can you help a starving cannibal? Give him a helping hand.