Joke #5828

A man answers the telephone to find a doctor from the hospital's emergency room on the other end. "Sir," explains the doctor, "Your wife was in a serious car accident. I have bad news and good news." The man, taken back, asks hesitatntly, "What's the bad news?" "The bad news is your wife has lost all use of both arms and both legs. She will likely be on a respirator for the rest of her life." "Heavens, Doc, what's the good news?" The doctor replies, "I'm kidding. She's dead."
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Jerry was in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. “I’m OK but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,” he answered. “What did he say?,” asked the nurse. “OOPS!”
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A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket.
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Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common? A: They aren't much to look at but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
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Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart? A: With a knife.
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Hitler is daddy! Hump me! Fuck me! Daddy better gas them Jews. My gas chambers love the smoke. G-g-gas the Jews.
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An apple and a black person both fall off a tree at the exact same time who hits the ground first? The apple because the rope catches the black person.
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What's the difference between an apple and a black man? None! They both hang from trees.
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Only nowadays there appeared a possibility to realize yourselfe: sell your liver, kidneis, skeleton...
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Black Jokes are not funny I have a black guy in my family way up in my family tree. He's been hanging there for quite a while.
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