Joke #5836

She was so blonde that she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

At work, a blonde notices her that cubicle mate has a thermos. She asks him what it's for, and he responds, "It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her cube mate asks, "What do you have in it?" The blonde says, "Soup and ice cream."

I see a blonde walking down the street with a rope tied around her waist and I ask, "Why do you have a rope tied around your waist?" And the blonde says, "Because im trying to commit suicide." I ask, "why don't you just tie it around your neck?" She says, "I already tried that but I couldn't breathe."

A blonde goes to the hospital to give blood and is asked what type she is. She tells them she’s an outgoing cat-lover.

A blonde, brunette, and redhead are all on a building about to jump off. They all jump at the same time. Which one landed last? The blonde because she asked for directions.

Blonde: Officer theres like a thousand dead people here! Cop: Okay, calm down. Where are you? Blonde: The cemetery! Cop: *facepalm*

Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean? A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.

During her company's periodic password audit, a blond employee was found to be using this password: GoofyHueyLouieDeweyDaisyDonaldMickeyMinniePhoenix When she was asked why she had such a long password, she said, "The boss said that my password had to be at least eight characters long and have at least one capital."

What’s the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde? There have been sightings of Bigfoot.

How do you keep a blonde in suspense? "Present her with a mirror and tell her to wait for the other person to say ‘Hello'."

Why was the Blonde's bellybutton bruised? Her husband was a blonde too!