Chuck Norris stuffs lockers into bullies!
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A blonde went to buy a pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."
"I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy.
Just take the day off to relax and rest."
The blonde very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here.
I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual.
"If you need anything, just let me know," he says. A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde.
He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically.
He rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay?
Is there anything I can do to help?"
"No," re plies the blonde,
"I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!"
What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
Last year's hide and seek champion.
How many blondes does it take to milk a cow?
Five - one to hold the udder, and four to lift and the cow up and down.
How come you don’t find stupid brunettes anywhere?
Because they all painted themselves blond.
Q: What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a recent car crash) and a blonde have in common?
A: Put either of 'em in a car and they're fucked.
A blonde gets her haircut while wearing a pair of headphones.
The hairdresser asks her to take them off, but she protests that she'll die without them.
The hairdresser sighs, and starts cutting the hair around the headphones.
Soon, the blonde falls asleep, and the hairdresser removes the headphones.
A few minutes later, the blonde collapses, dead on the floor.
Alarmed, the hairdresser puts the headphones to his ear and hears, "Breathe in. Breathe out."
Q. What do you do if a blond throws a pin at you?
A. Run...she has a grenade in her mouth.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
I wonder if it's mine.
How do you know if a blonde has been playing with your Xbox 360?
The joystick is wet.
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