Blonde cop pulls over blonde motorist.
Cop asks the motorist to see her license so the blonde searches in her purse & tells the blonde cop that she must have forgot it at home.
The blonde cop asks the blonde motorist does she have any other type of identification so she searches in her purse again, looks at a pocket mirror & says, "I have a picture of myself."
The cop asks to see it so the blonde motorist hands over the pocket mirror.
The blonde cop looks at it & says, "Well if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over."
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Q: How did the blonde kill her toy poodle?
A: Trying to put batteries in it.
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Why does a man prefer blondes?
Men always like intellectual company.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp.
They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie.
He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three girls, each would get one wish.
The redhead went first. "I hate it here. It is too hot and boring. I want to go home!"
"Okay," replied the genie.
And off she went.
Then the brunette went.
"I miss my family, my friends and relatives. I want to go home, too!"
And off she went.
The blonde started crying and said, "I wish my friends were back here!"
Three women were sitting in a bar, (burnette, redhead, and a blonde) they were all pregnant.
The burnette says, "I know what I'm going to have."
The other to asked how.
She replied, "Well I was on top when I concieved so I will have a baby boy".
The red head said, "If your logic is correct then I will have a baby girl because I was on the bottom when I concieved.
The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, "PUPPIES, PUPPIES!".
John and Bob were inseparable childhood friends.
One night, they both died in a terrible car accident.
When John woke up in heaven, he began to search for Bob but could not find him anywhere.
Very distraught, he ran to St. Peter and said, "St. Peter, I know Bob was killed in that accident with me, but I can’t find him!"
St. Peter said, "My son, I am sorry to tell you Bob didn’t make it to Heaven."
This upset John so much that St. Peter agreed to let him see Bob one more time.
St. Peter parted the clouds and John saw Bob sitting in hell with a keg on one side and a beautiful buxom blonde on the other.
John looked at St. Peter skeptically and said, "Are you sure I’m in the right place?"
"My son," St. Peter said, "looks can be deceiving. You see that keg of beer? It has a hole in it. You see that woman? She doesn’t!"
A blonde goes to an international message center to call her mother.
When the man tells her it will be $300, she exclaims, "I don't have that kind of money, but I'll do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother."
He tells the blonde to follow him and takes her into a back room.
He unzips his pants and takes out his penis.
The blonde gets on her knees, brings it toward her mouth and says, "Hello? Mom?"
Why do blondes like blonde jokes?
'Cause they make them feel famous!
A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10.
See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde," her mother replied.
The next day, the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G.
See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!"
And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?" "No, it's because you're 25."
Q: Why did the blonde have trouble in the ladies' room?
A: She is not used to pulling her own pants down.