Blonde cop pulls over blonde motorist.
Cop asks the motorist to see her license so the blonde searches in her purse & tells the blonde cop that she must have forgot it at home.
The blonde cop asks the blonde motorist does she have any other type of identification so she searches in her purse again, looks at a pocket mirror & says, "I have a picture of myself."
The cop asks to see it so the blonde motorist hands over the pocket mirror.
The blonde cop looks at it & says, "Well if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over."
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Death: It's your time. give me your hand
Blonde: No! i know that if i dont touch you then I'll never die!
Death: Holy shit! You figured out the key to living forever! You're soooo smart! High five!
Blonde: *high fives*
Death: Typical blonde... Dumbass...
A blonde pushes her BMW into the gas station and tells the mechanic that it died.
After working on it for a few minutes, he has it idling smoothly.
"What's the story?" she asked.
"Just crap in the carburator," the mechanic replied.
"How often do I have to do that?" asked the blonde.
Q: How do you make a blonde's brain the size of a pea?
A: Inflate it.
A blonde was driving across several states to go visit her family. She was five hours late and her family was getting worried.
When she finally got there she explained that she had seen 10 signs that said “CLEAN RESTROOMS AHEAD...”
How do you kill a blonde with one arm?
You wave to her.
How many blondes does it take to milk a cow?
Five - one to hold the udder, and four to lift and the cow up and down.
How does a blonde commit suicide?
She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
A road construction manager needed to hire someone to paint the yellow lines down the middle of a newly constructed road.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all get hired.
They are each assigned a section of the road.
The first day, the blonde paints 2 miles, the redhead 1.5, and the brunette only 1.
On the second day, the blonde paints 1 mile, the brunette 2, and the redheaed 2.5.
On the third day, the blonde only gets 1/4 of a mile done, the redheaed 3, and the brunette 3.5.
The manager decides to talk to the blonde.
"You haven't been painting as much road as you did on the first day," the manager said.
"What's the problem?"
"I'd be painting more, but the bucket keeps getting farther and farther away!"
Why did the Blonde pee in the Grocery Store?
The sign said "Wet Floor."