Joke #5849

A blonde women is sitting in her garage, alone, with a gun to her head. She is depressed and finally decides that she just can't live anymore. Then, her husband comes home, finds her with the gun and begs her not to do it. "Please, honey, don't do it, i'll do anything you want, but please, don't kill yourself!" he pleads. "Shut up! your next!" the blonde says.
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has 67.69 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: blonde

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Three blondes witness a crime so they go to the police station to identify the suspect. The police chief shows them the first mug shot. "That's not him," the first blonde states. "This man only has one eye." The chief is stunned. "He only has one eye because it's a profile shot." He repeats the procedure for the second blonde. "That's not him.This man only has one ear," she answers. He smacks his head. "It's a profile shot." He repeats the procedure for the third blonde. After viewing the photo, she says, "That's not him. This man is wearing contact lenses." "How do you know that?" "Well," she says, "he can't wear glasses with only one eye and one ear, now can he?"
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has 71.35 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: blonde
There a ventriloquist telling blond joke . A blond comes storming up on stage and start says"blonds can be smart to you know,and I'm smart, I should know." The ventriloquist says" ok ok I'm sorry I won't do it again" then the blond says "you shut up and stay out of this cuz I'm talking to the jurk on your knee"
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What does XXX stand for in a porno film? A: It's the signature of the three blondes who "act" in it
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity? A: The crayons are still sticky.
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has 58.26 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, disgusting, sex
What does a blonde use for protection during sex? A bus shelter.
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has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: Why was the blonde jogging backwards? A: She wanted to gain weight!
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has 49.30 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: athlete, blonde, fat, stupid
A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police officer pulled her over and walked up to the car. The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?" Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!" The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman. The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."
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has 85.36 % from 453 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop
How do you keep a blonde busy all day? Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper.
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: blonde
One day, a blonde and her friend were walking through the park. Suddenly, the blonde's friend said, "Oh, look, a dead birdie!" The blonde looked up and said, "Where?"
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has 72.70 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: bird, blonde, death, stupid
There were two blondes, and they had just came from a store. The blonde that owned the mustang had locked her keys in the car. She was trying to pick the lock when she stoped to rest for a second. When she sat down, her friend said, "Hurry up, it's starting to rain and the top's down!"
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: blonde