Joke #5849

A blonde women is sitting in her garage, alone, with a gun to her head. She is depressed and finally decides that she just can't live anymore. Then, her husband comes home, finds her with the gun and begs her not to do it. "Please, honey, don't do it, i'll do anything you want, but please, don't kill yourself!" he pleads. "Shut up! your next!" the blonde says.
Vote:
has 67.69 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: blonde

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

One day 2 blondes decided to drive to Disney Land. When they saw a sign that said 'Disney Land left' they turned around and went home.
Vote:
has 77.74 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: blonde, travel
A blonde went to the eletronic store and she asked, "How is much is this TV?" The salesman said, "Sorry, we don"t sell to blondes." The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry, we don"t sell to blondes." The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry we don"t sell to blondes." She replied, " I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?" "Because that is not a TV, it's a microwave."
Vote:
has 61.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: blonde, business, customer service, stupid, technology
Q: Why was the blonde late for work? A: She was stranded on the broken escalator.
Vote:
has 78.76 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: blonde, work
How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to count the stairs on a escalator.
Vote:
has 81.16 % from 172 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q. What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW? A. Divorcee'
Vote:
has 22.36 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, divorce
Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her. After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the blonde was sewing two marbles into the crotch of every Elmo. The manager said, "I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!"
Vote:
has 52.59 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Vote:
has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa. " Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay" says the lawyer, "your turn." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep. And you thought blondes were dumb.
Vote:
has 85.59 % from 3548 votes. More jokes about: airplane, blonde, lawyer, money, travel
My blonde girlfriend went to the doctors this morning and was told she had two weeks to live. She chose last week and this week.
Vote:
has 60.80 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, life, stupid, time
A married couple go to a restaurant. A blonde waitress takes their order and returns several minutes later, carrying a plate with only a plain hamburger bun on it. The man asks, "Where's the burger?" The waitress lifts her arm and pulls out a burger from her armpit. "I was keeping it warm," she replies. The wife says, "Please cancel my hot dog order."
Vote:
has 47.14 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: blonde, disgusting, dog, food, marriage