Joke #5862

The FBI had an open position for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were completed, they had narrowed the field down to 3 possible agents. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances.' Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair... we need you to kill her' The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.' The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.' The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife home.' Finally, the last man was given the same instructions, to kill his wife. He took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the man, wiping the sweat from his brow. 'Some idiot loaded the gun with blanks' he said. 'I had to strangle that bitch to death'.
Vote:
has 94.92 % from 33909 votes. More jokes about: black humor

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: What did one casket say to the sick casket? A: Is that you coughin'?
Vote:
has 51.28 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
Vote:
has 85.06 % from 1898 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, phone
"I'm going to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage. But it is just a formality." "Who told you that?" "Gynecologist."
Vote:
has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: black humor
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.
Vote:
has 37.14 % from 244 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, dirty, disgusting, sex
*Wakes up to wife and son screaming* Me: "What are you guys yelling about?" Them: "You're driving!"
Vote:
has 79.91 % from 138 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, kids, wife
What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ? A Pedophiles ass.
Vote:
has 50.61 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Q: What's faster than the speed of light? A: A jew passing Germany.
Vote:
has 62.15 % from 193 votes. More jokes about: black humor, jewish, morbid, racist, travel
Are you lost, ma'am? Because Heaven's a long way from here.
Vote:
has 27.12 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: black humor, heaven
A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
Vote:
has 75.22 % from 175 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, funeral
What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
Vote:
has 63.61 % from 319 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, morbid