Joke #5862

The FBI had an open position for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were completed, they had narrowed the field down to 3 possible agents. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances.' Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair... we need you to kill her' The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.' The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.' The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife home.' Finally, the last man was given the same instructions, to kill his wife. He took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the man, wiping the sweat from his brow. 'Some idiot loaded the gun with blanks' he said. 'I had to strangle that bitch to death'.
Vote:
has 94.89 % from 34011 votes. More jokes about: black humor

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

How did they know that the driver had dandruff? They found his head and shoulders in the glove box.
Vote:
has 45.78 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: black humor
My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick. No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
Vote:
has 65.20 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: black humor
A man answers the telephone to find a doctor from the hospital's emergency room on the other end. "Sir," explains the doctor, "Your wife was in a serious car accident. I have bad news and good news." The man, taken back, asks hesitatntly, "What's the bad news?" "The bad news is your wife has lost all use of both arms and both legs. She will likely be on a respirator for the rest of her life." "Heavens, Doc, what's the good news?" The doctor replies, "I'm kidding. She's dead."
Vote:
has 76.67 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Bill Gates goes to purgatory. St. Peter says, "Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go". First, St. Peter shows Bill an image of Hell with beautiful women running on beaches. Then, St Peter shows Bill an image of Heaven with robed angels playing harps on clouds. Bill chooses Hell. About a week later, St. Peter checks in on Bill in Hell and finds him being whipped by demons. Bill says to St. Peter, "What happened to all the beautiful women and the beaches?" St. Peter replies, "That was just the screen saver."
Vote:
has 73.42 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, heaven, women
Q: What happened to Jesus when he said "Catch me outside, how bout dat"? A: He got crucified
Vote:
has 19.69 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: black humor, christian, communication, death
Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes. The first man said, "My Ryan loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky." The second man said, "My Ross was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake." The third man said, "My Jack was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time."
Vote:
has 67.69 % from 221 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor, death, funeral, gay
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson? He thought he would give him a paunch!
Vote:
has 36.23 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, food, sport
What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ? Crib death.
Vote:
has 36.46 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Want to hear a clean joke? The boy took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a man.
Vote:
has 79.97 % from 285 votes. More jokes about: black humor
I bet Rosa Parks killed it in musical chairs.
Vote:
has 73.50 % from 201 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, music