Q: What does it look like when you microwave a baby?
A: I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
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Sperm 1: How much longer tell we get to the egg?
Sperm 2: We've still got a long way to go. We're only half way down the esophagus.
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Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends?
A: He plays with Pooh.
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Q: What does an old woman have that a young woman doesn't?
A: A belly button between her boobs.
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An Aggie and a Longhorn had just bought a ranch together, so they were driving the fence line to check everything out when they came upon a goat with his head stuck in a fence.
So the Longhorn gets out of the truck, looks around, and then starts screwing the goat.
He gets finished, takes a step back, ands asks the Aggie, "Hey, you want a piece of this?"
The Aggie says, ´"Yeah, but do I have to stick my head in the fence?"
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An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head.
"Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper."
"What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."
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What's green and eats nuts?
Syphilis.
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A family walks into a talent agency.
It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog.
The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act.
You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
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I met a girl who used masturbate to 2 girls 1 cup.
And that kids, is how j met your mother.
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Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark?
A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.
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Q: What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common?
A: They just didn't listen
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