Q: What does it look like when you microwave a baby?
A: I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
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Similar jokes
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I am a dog
And you are a flower.
I lift my leg up
And give you a shower.
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There was this guy who was sick,so he went to the doctor.
The doc ran some tests and sent him home with some medicine.
The next day the doctor called and the wife answered.
"I'm going to need to run a few more tests", the doctor said.
"I'm going to need a semen, urine and a fecal sample".
After she hung up the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?"
"He needs a pair of your underwear".
Two monsters went to a Halloween party.
Suddenly one said to the other, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?"
The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."
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Mommy, mommy, I don't want to visit grandma today!
"Shut up and keep digging, boy."
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A guy sees a classified ad that says "Will give Blow Job while singing the Star Spangled Banner at the same time."
The guys thinks to himself that it sounds interesting and unbelievable, and so decides to pay her a visit.
She lets him in and says that the lights have to be off.
So she turns the light off and starts sucking his dick.
All of a sudden he hears the Star Spangled Banner, clear as day.
He really wants to know how she is doing this so he flips on the lights.
All he sees on the floor is a glass eye.
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How did the live baby escape from a room filled with with zombie babies?
He ate his way out.
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Q: Why is it a bad idea for two butt cheeks to get married?
A: Because they part for every little shit.
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Hey, did you hear about the cannibal who arrived late to the dinner party?
They gave him the cold shoulder!
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Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?
A: "I feel like a kid again."
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How can you tell if a porno was made in the 70's?
The guys' schlongs have sideburns!
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