Joke #5888

Q: What does it look like when you microwave a baby? A: I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
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has 40.39 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: disgusting

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A guy walks into a bar and announces that he can close his eyes and name what kind of alcohol he is drinking and how old it is, just by taste and smell. A drunken guy at the bar says, "I bet I can give you a drink that you can't name." "You're on," replies the guy, "as long as you pay." So the drunken guy puts a drink on the table. The guy sips it, gags and spits it out. "This tastes like piss!" "Yeah," says the drunken guy, "now guess how old I am."
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has 65.86 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: age, alcohol, bar, disgusting, drunk
There was a young man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He dreamt that Venus was strokin' his penis And woke with a handfull of goo
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
What do gays call hemorrhoids ? Speed bumps.
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has 40.88 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, health
The bartender looks a little worried, but asks him what would he like. "A cup of boiled water please" "Water? I thought you guys drank blood" "Today I was in the mood for tea", says the vampire while taking out a tampon.
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: bartender, disgusting
Why doesnt a man eat out an 80 year old woman? Ever opened up a grilled cheese?
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has 31.68 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, food
Q: How do you eat a frog? A: You put one leg behind each ear.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Josi frequently attends his church Bingo club, where every week a gag doorprize is given out. One week, Josi is presented with a toilet brush. "What the hell is this?" he asks the pastor. "Why, it's a toilet brush." "Ooh, I see," says Josi. A couple weeks later, the pastor jokingly asks Josi how the brush is working. "Well, it's okay, but I think I'll go back to using paper."
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has 68.60 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: church, disgusting, work
I got into an embarrassing situation at a swingers' party last night. I snuck up behind an older lady, started fucking her from behind then looked up and suddenly realised that the guy at the other end of the spitroast, getting a blowjob, was my dad. I said, "After 30 years of marriage I can't believe you're being unfaithful to mum." He said, "I'm not."
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has 58.98 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sex
What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Stroke-n-off
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has 52.31 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, masturbation
What bounces up and down at 100mph? A baby tied to the back of a truck.
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has 21.54 % from 115 votes. More jokes about: baby, car, disgusting