Q: What does it look like when you microwave a baby?
A: I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
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Little cowboy runs into a Bar shouting angerly "WHO's the lousy varmint that painted my horse green?"
A big cowboy sidles up to him and says "I DID.. want to complain to me?"
"No," says the little guy "just wanted you to know that the first coat is dry!"
That moment when you notice that one fork isn't really very clean when you're laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.
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Your fart's so loud, astronauts in space mistook your fart for a message from Houston!
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Another name for a vagina is a cockpit
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LaShaunda had just given birth to a daughter and discussed possible names with her hospital roommate, LaQoowanga.
LaShwanda mentioned a name she had heard in the doctor's office, "Vagina".
When the hospital personnel asked her what name to put on the birth certificate, LaShaunda said "Vagina". "You can't name your baby that!"
"Don't disrespect me! I be her mama.
I can names her anything I want."
When the hospital person tried to explained what the name meant, LaShaunda said, "No, No! that's a cootchie!"
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Why do women always fart only when they go to the bathroom?
They have to blow dry—and there's nothing to shake.
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Q: Who is brave?
A: He who has diarrhea and wants to fart!
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Why did the zombie baby cross the road?
He was stapled to the chicken.
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Q: What do you give an elephant with diarrhea?
A: Lots of room.
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If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.
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