Q: What does it look like when you microwave a baby?
A: I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Three little old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a flasher came by in only an overcoat and opened it as wide as it could go.
The first little old lady had a stroke, the second little old lady also had a stroke, but the third little old lady couldn't reach.
Vote:
Yo mama is so stinky that she scared the fly's off the shit wagonrn.
Vote:
Q: How many hipsters does it take to flush a toilet?
A: You can't touch that toilet, it's art.
Vote:
Yo Mama so hairy, when she shaved her legs, your dad thought she got a new carpet.
Vote:
Why fart and waste when you can burp and taste?
Vote:
What's red and lies in all four corners of the room?
A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
Vote:
A demon died and was asked by god what he wanted to become in his next life.
The demon said "I wish to become good in my next life. I want to be as pure and white as an angel and also have angel wings... But I still want to drink blood."
So god turned him into a maxi pad.
Vote:
Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, blowjob?
A: The blowjob.
You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just can't beat a blowjob.
Vote:
When is the best time to bury that baby you killed?
When it starts talking to you again.
Vote:
Two cannibals just got their hands on a corpse.
One says to the other, "I'll start at the head, you start at the feet."
They start to eat, and after awhile the one at the head yells to the other one, "Hey, how's it going?"
The other replies, "I'm having a ball!"
Getting mad, the one at the head yells, "Dammit, slow down, you're eating too fast!"
Vote: